The launch of African Woman magazine and then, a few links-o-matic thurrogits.

And in other news:

I realize the Red Pepper is not one of those things (okay, fine. Call it a newspaper, but its your reputation on the line) you take seriously, but its not fair when they stop trying. It’s like the village idiot decided to go around handing out business cards introducing himself and confirming what we always knew. -(edgeofinnocence.com)

I even did the afterlaugh with that guesture where you clap your hands by slicing them over each other and saying, “Oooowaye.”

Between that and Monty Python, they have had me bursting out in abrupt and completely random sniggering bouts all week.

What is a Monty Python?

Conjuring Today is a very very very short sketch. Michael Palin stands on a stage in a cape, the front of his tuxedo covered in blood. He is holding a saw. It is evident that he is one of those magicians.

For some reason he is wearing a pair of google-eye spectacles.

He says, “Last week, we learnt how to saw a woman in half. This week, we learn how to saw her into three pieces and dispose of the body… Aaargh!”

And he is chased off the stage by policemen. 

If I never mentioned it before, the New Vision has very third world Internet, so I am not even sure if this youtube link will take you there…

Meanwhile: Princess (Formerly known as Teti)  found a modernised Computer-age version of Poe’s The Raven. Because of the aforementioned Third World Internet Status, I cannot comment on Blogger.com, but I deeply suspect, Princess, if you by any chance perhaps are as if dropping by here and reading this, that you are the one who had that link to Stephen Fry’s blog. Are you?

Xena didn’t update with her usual Apprentice recap this week. Sadness ensued.

I was going to put a sound clip of Sexual Harrasment Panda (for the benefit of those unacquainted with SHP, he is a panda that says, repeatedly, the words, “and that makes me a saa-a-ad Pan-da.”) but then I thought, if you have not laughed at the Monty Python clip, then let me not push it by putting up even more genre humour. This week is for me to laugh alone, I think.

It is evidently time to call it. So, one more badoinkadoink picture:

…And let’s shrink it. It’s a wrap.

Karitas Karisimbi, Straka Mwezi, Juliana Kanyomozi, Beyonce (Or how to trick people into visiting your blog through google searches)

A while back, (August last year to be precise) I put up a post in which I made a harmless good-natured joke about NBS TV’s morning show, in which I attempted to depict one of its anchors as a halfwit Neanderthal lacking in rudimentary language skills. Okay, it wasn’t harmless good-natured fun, it was spiteful mockery motivated by malice and executed with contempt and scorn.

Here it is. It featured one Pongo.

(Update. I deleted the post and the pictures because of, well, long story)

I don’t watch NBS TV with the volume on. With it on mute, I can see the cute co-anchor chick bob her head around without actually having to hear what she is saying as I sip my morning Good African.

Buy Ugandan, people, buy quality.

Anyway, Going face.

When I look at my stats, I discover that people take some very unusual routes to get to this blog but I assume that those who come here after a google search for Bebe Cool, Sweet Kid, orWhat Is Wrong With Africa, soon realise that they have hit the wrong venue, and depart to try elsewhere.

A couple of people who got here after searching for NBS TV, however, did not turn around with a curt “Excuse me, wrong number.” A couple of them stayed long enough to leave comments.

Now, believe me when I say this, because I say this from the bottom of my very heart of hearts: I appreciate every single person who drops by and reads my blog. I do. A lot of people say they don’t care whether they get comments or not, but it is comments that make me go beyond just appreciating visitors. In some cases comments plunge me into the potentially dangerous territory of falling into psycho love with them. Like right now, I am ready to have Victoria’s kids.
I feel considerable sadness when they vanish (Fujitsu, Maybe, Shasha, Cute Face… how could you just walk out on me like that? How am I going to feed these babies of yours?) But no matter how much (or not) bloggers value their comments, one thing is almost unanimous; no one likes it when comments make it evident that their author didn’t bother to read the post.

Which brings us nicely back to the issue under discussion this evening. NBS TV.

Pastor Reverend Dr Grace DL Kityo, “a humble, seasoned and anointed Minister of the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ” according to his website, www.kityo.org, visited, and left a comment below the NBS Pongo post.

 (Click to view the whole thing if you have time)

Pongo, if you are reading this, please get in touch with Dr Grace.

Advertising and other barefaced lies

First take a look at this here.

This woman.

Look at this woman.

As some would say, spot. Spot this woman.

 It is words like “agonised expression”, “undergoing unimaginable pain”, “torture in progress”, “trapped in a nightmare” and, “apparently constipated”, that spring forth when one tries to describe that face.

Maybe “rectal exam.”

 

 

 What is going on in this picture? What are they doing to this woman? What are those awful men doing to this poor, poor, poor, mid-forties-but-not-wanting-to-admit-it-to-herself woman?

The riddle is solved below. The answer is revealed.

 

It’s an MTN ad. Ludicrous, isn’t it? She doesn’t look good. She looks like she has stared at the very face of death and seen the horror in his deep, black eyes. And she can’t possibly feel good. Apparently she feels like something very uncomfortable is going on in the lower parts of her alimentary canal.

 MTN says “Go!”

Chick in their ad says, “I want to, but I am too constipated. Nghaaa!”

Where is Warid?