We have seen Akon, Wycleff, Shaggy, Joe, UB40 – international pop stars such as these flying all the way down to this Uganda to perform for us. Thank you beer and airtime companies. But the people we have been most interested in seeing are yet to appear.

We haven’t seen any hot international female RnB stars coming to Uganda to perform. Why is this? Why doesn’t Beyonce come to Uganda?

Our investigative team tracked the Destiny’s Child frontwoman down on facebook and held this interview.

  • Hello, Beyonce. We are very glad you could make the time to talk to us. Beyonce, why don’t  you come to perform in Uganda?
  • Where’s Uganda? Is it in Utah?
  • No, it’s in Africa.
  • Where’s Africa?
  • That’s where all the black people come from.
  • So it’s in Brooklyn?
  • No, there is a continent called Africa, after Europe and Asia and before Australia. It’s called Africa. Umm… Where Madonna got her  kid, David.
  • I thought David was from Brooklyn.
  • No, he’s from Malawi. In Africa. Look, have you watched that movie, Coming To America, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall?
  • Who is Arsenio Hall?
  • The other guy in the movie.. Look have you watched it or not?
  • Yeah, I’ve watched it.
  • Now Eddie Murphy was a prince called Akeem, from a kingdom called Zamunda in another land, wasn’t he?
  • Yes, I remember. And he came to Queens to find a bride.
  • Yes. Well, Eddie Murphy’s land was in Africa.
  • Hah hah! Don’t be silly. That land wasn’t real. It was made up for the movie. There is no such place as Zamunda. Duh.


That is why Beyonce has never come to Uganda.

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