1. Greg is NOT an alien

2. The ability to get balls into nets is a sign of high moral stature

3. The news is more factual, accurate and timely if it is delivered in broken English with a fake accent.

4. I now know what to drink if I want confidence.

5. God is just. Except in sports. By the end of the match we learn whose prayers He answers.

6. Most animals do not speak. But those which do are hilarious.

7. You don’t need to be fulfilled or happy. But you do need to be cool.

8. All heroes are unlikely

10. Pinky is a symbol of Brain’s self-destructive impulses: His fear of success.

11. Meredith Grey would beat John Dorian in a fair fistfight.

12. White People Can’t Dance

13. White People who can dance are black.

14. Really. Greg is NOT an alien.