On Monday, when it rained all day and was as cold as the evil and mean as your cruel little heart, there were reports we heard that men had been sighted on Kampala streets wearing shawls.
I don’t know where they got those shawls. It is my hope that they did not buy them for themselves, but rather, that they stole them from women they live or work with.
At last men have found the courage to break free from the oppressive societal brainwashing system that has kept us cold and freezing.
Too many times I have walked these mean streets, these damp, cold streets, freezing and dying inside. Without an ass. The ass lies abandoned on a floor somewhere because, well, it has been frozen, as expected, off. Have you ever tried to walk without an ass? Not easy.
I don’t want to brag, or maybe I do, but this was actually MY idea. I started this gangsta shit…
Two words: Man-shawl
Wait. Think about this first. Let’s think about this.
What are our alternatives? Jackets, sweaters and coats. They cover the chest and arms but they leave the head and hands wide open to the cold. That may be fine for duh stoopid guys, but those of us who do the work of educated men, we need our heads to think and we need our hands to type—we need them to not be frozen numb.
I’m telling you.
Why should women be the only ones who can adequately protect themselves from the cold? Let’s do this, you guys. Don’t see it as a problem, see it as a solution.
The only way it can be an issue is if only one guy does it. But if we all get together as one and we all do it, it will be like just another fashion trend, and no one guy will be singled out for persecution.
Come on. Who’s with me?