Parts Of The Newspaper That Didn’t Suck

In this week’s Sunday Vision:
Resident sexist pig (male) writes on women who hit bars in large cliques:
Many ladies cannot hold their own, so they drag their friends along for the ride. They may not even stand these friends, but it wipes away any sense of vulnerability that may be lurking at the back of their minds. Ever seen a lady by herself at the bar? Does she scream “I am woman, hear me roar”? No? There you go. The confidence usually builds as the number of ladies swells and then when they hit their peak, they are invincible.
See, from invisible to invincible in seconds.
The New Vision website team have no fucking idea how to break paragraphs so please forgive them.
You must have asked yourself many times: “How do I move from being an average guy who these women just ignore to being one of those really sexy dudes who make them quiver and swoon?”
Ernest Bazanye (for it is I) has the answer
The next day we scoured through the area for cheaper eating joints. The days for fancy words like ‘restaurant’ were gone. It was now down to ‘eating joints’ or bufunda. We got a dilapidated one hidden somewhere best described as “for the sake of your reputation, don’t tell a soul you were here. Have a nice meal”.
Erique Mununuzi remembers his campus days.
I’m also shocked. I also thought he was still in S4.
And finally, my recipe for exploding pudding

In this week’s Sunday Vision:

Resident sexist pig (male) writes on women who hit bars in large cliques:

Many ladies cannot hold their own, so they drag their friends along for the ride. They may not even stand these friends, but it wipes away any sense of vulnerability that may be lurking at the back of their minds. Ever seen a lady by herself at the bar? Does she scream “I am woman, hear me roar”? No? There you go. The confidence usually builds as the number of ladies swells and then when they hit their peak, they are invincible.

See, from invisible to invincible in seconds.

(The New Vision website team have no fucking idea how to break paragraphs so please forgive them.)

Also in SV

You must have asked yourself many times: “How do I move from being an average guy who these women just ignore to being one of those really sexy dudes who make them quiver and swoon?”

Ernest Bazanye (for it is I) has the answer.

In the magazine, Erique Mununuzi remembers his campus days.

The next day we scoured through the area for cheaper eating joints. The days for fancy words like ‘restaurant’ were gone. It was now down to ‘eating joints’ or bufunda. We got a dilapidated one hidden somewhere best described as “for the sake of your reputation, don’t tell a soul you were here. Have a nice meal”.

I’m also shocked. I also thought he was still in S4.

And finally, my recipe for exploding pudding, also billed as Bad Idea

(P.S. Lulu, you see how creative I am today? You see? I told you.)
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9 Comments

  1. “I am a woman, hear me roar!”

    Haaaaaaaaaaaa! Someone has been attending too many women’s empowerment workshops.

    Women, really attractive ones anyway, are supposed to purr.

    Thanks for the links. I would’t read the paper otherwise.

  2. I missed the hot guys article. Thanks for bringing it back. Speaking of guys who don’t talk bulungi…was ogling a well groomed one at cineplex the other day, until he asked for popcorns!

    It wouldn’t have hurt to name some of the hot chicks in the Kyaliwajjala area. Like Cheri, self, etc. Just saying.

  3. hahahaha mad man, you wil get it into you, i screamed , kicked , pouted, even spat at passing bloggers but they still sat me down and told me ‘we want our whispers,’ i shall get sleek at your door to do the pounding, you wil write for him to get off your back trust me…lol

  4. In English:
    Dude, this won’t save you one bit. Lulu asked you to do something?

    Mu Luganda:
    Maani, tetwaagala wano bya gundi simanyi ate ki ki. Gyira gundi ogyire, owulidde? Heeeee!

    In Nigga:
    Nigga!

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