By now I am sure you have all heard the news: Sunday Vision is the Buganga Government’s big fat bitch.
After a lot of trash-talking, bluff-calling, saber-rattling, under-the-breath cursing and, (because this is the Mengo Establishment we are talking about I believe it is safe to assume), a lot of witchcraft, the State-owned newspaper capitulated and ran a front-page apology.
“Okay, Dammit, Okay! You win! We’re sorry. Okay? Happy Now? Sheesh!”
Some Bkg for those in Kenya and other places where they are not as well informed as us normal people: A couple of weeks ago the Sunday Vision (a state-owned paper) ran a story claiming that the Kabaka (or “king”) of Buganda (a tribe in the centre of Uganda (a country.) ) had obtained a loan using the title deed of Bulange, his main palace, (where his government’s offices are found) as security.
The king, so went the story, hasn’t paid off the loan yet, and the title deed to the seat of the kingdom still rests in the hands of this minister.
The Buganda Kingdom Government (also known simply as Mengo, a Swahili term that refers to the gaps found in the teeth of the ministers) demanded a retraction. The Sunday Vision people said they will offer one only over their dead bodies.
“Fucking retract that shit now!” demanded Mengo, in a strongly worded memo drafted by their lawyers.
“We shall retruct nothing! Kiss our ass!” responded the Sunday Vision who, first of all insisted that the story was true and, secondly, are very prone to misspellings and violations of grammar rules.
But after more huffing and more puffing and after threats were leveled against Sunday Vision staff and newsvendors, and a boycott of all New Vision products was called, Sunday Vision said, “Well, if you put it THAT way…” and apologized.
Now, we don’t know whether this was because the bottom line was at risk, or if it was because, honestly and truly, the title deed was never used for a loan, but what I do know is that we journalists don’t care that much about facts these days.
I say that to say this.
I recently got a call from Name Withheld. Name Withheld is a guy who writes rap songs with lyrics that don’t rhyme. I have pointed out this shortcoming a few times in my articles, to his chagrin.
But he has a chest from here to across the road; he spends a lot of time lifting weights in gyms, so when he called me and told me to stop writing about him, my first thought was that I cannot let anyone intimidate me into compromising my journalistic integrity. I cannot bow to threats. Well, he didn’t actually threaten me. He just asked me to stop making jokes about his music, that’s all. But as a journalist I cannot let the subject of my story determine what I write! I was about to draft yet another cheap shot at him then this happened.
Now that we have established that I bat for the team that is quick to back down, I have had to can it. Now, let me get a call from Lady Bizzle…