(The Art Of Storytelling: An object lesson from Mister Michael Bay).

Michael Bay is the very famous director of Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen, which is the title of  his latest massive blockbuster.

TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen

I feel the urge to say “the titles” because somehow that sounds like two: “Transformers” AND “Revenge of The Fallen”. I don’t know why. I’m probably not getting enough of some vital vitamin. Anyway…

TROTF is about motor vehicles from outer space thatconvert into giant robots and  fight each other while Megan Fox putters around beneath them attempting to look sexy. I don’t think she succeeded, hardly having been all that to start with.

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Megan Fox: She looks like someone who just had their crossed eyes fixed with a hammer blow to the head.

Anyway, the story’s basis is very simple, as is the basis of Megan Fox’s alleged sex appeal. (She is one of those women who believe that all you have to do is bend over in shorts to be hot. Please. My fart.) So much so that I, a long term connoisiuer of Mr Bay’s work, can tell you, frankly, from my expert assessment, there was barely a story there at all.

The lack of plot has led many many many people to wonder, with scorn and contempt  unconcealed, too, why the hell this movie ended up being so popular despite not having character development, compelling plot, or even that much acting? The movie was just a bunch of fighting robots. How is that supposed to be enjoyable?

People ask themselves t his question.

As if it isn’t obvious. Let me explain.

Look.

2009-chevrolet-corvette-stingray-sideswipe-concept-front-angle-picture-588x441

That is a Chevrolet Corvette Stingray.

It’s a very nice thing to look at. I would enjoy watching Chevrolet Corvette Stingrays moving around on a screen.

This is a robot. ( It is called Sideswipe and that is its sword.):

Sideswipe-Corvette-Stingray

It’s a very nice thing to look at. I would enjoy watching such robots moving around on a screen.

This is violence.

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(As above.)

Is it becoming clear yet? You see, an action blockbuster about fighting robots from outer space is really not the time to examine the inner turmoil of a tortured soul, or to present a metaphor of the death of family-centric culture in the 21st Century. It is not even the time for an actor to show a range of or, in fact, any emotion at all. It’s time for the robots to fight.

Michael Bay understands this, so he doesn’t waste our time with a plot. He realizes that we don’t even care if it makes sense, so he took the money that would have been spent filling  the many gaping plot holes and used it to make more explosions instead, and for that we thank him. Thank you, Michael.

Look.

2009-chevrolet-corvette-stingray-sideswipe-concept-front-angle-picture-588x441

That is a Chevrolet Corvette Stingray.

Some people look at that and think, “Awesome car.”  Some people think, “Awesome car. But where is it coming from? Where is it going? What is its purpose? What is its meaning?”

You haha.

In short, the aesthetic merits of Transformers are entirely superficial, but they are merits, nevertheless. To whit: It looks good. that’s why we like it. There is a point to this, which I hope I will add when I update this post. It is an important lesson about How To Tell Stories.

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