Kyaliwajjala is IN the HOUSE!! Yo Miss Cheri aka Sherry Darling, aka Queen of Blogistan aka Tallest Chick who can KickShort Man dem Pon de Balls, One Time! Two Time! Tree Time rundown di track. Faya!


My colleague, Celia, says many outrageous things and always has a witty answer to every question. Trick or not. However, right now, she can’t explain this little situation.

She has been going out with this dude for about 6 months now and she says it’s the happiest she has been in decades. See, Celia is a divorced mother of 4. She is almost 50 and had lived more than 10 years without a partner when along came Mr Mysterious (a nickname we gave him at work because he always seemed to have some mystery about him.)

In her words, Mr Mysterious awoke some feelings she never ever thought she’d ever have.

He took well to her children especially the younger ones who still live with her and they got on well with his children who were about the same age.

Quick fact.

Mr Mysterious is 12 years younger than Celia.

Another quick fact

She has never dated a man older or same age as her. Coincidentally (according to her) they are all always younger than she is.

Celia proves the point that age is nothing but a number. She lives her life in the fast lane and seems, looks and behaves likes she’s about 15 years younger than she is.

In the beginning she didn’t really think he’d be very serious with her. To her, it was another whirlwind romance that was going to follow the route all the others had taken. But this one seemed to stand the test of time. And her test of time was usually 4 weeks. We were impressed. I’ve known her long enough (since last July) to witness this countless times.

However, last week, I was in for a big shock. Celia called me on the weekend to tell me she had big news for me and that I had to wait till I got to office to hear it. Obviously, I thought it was some juicy office gossip. I couldn’t wait to hear it. I even got to office about 30 minutes early so we’d have enough time to gossip before the other began to roll in. U know how I be.

I was too early. She showed up on time. With the others. But trust us to yap regardless.

She dropped the bomb!!!!

Mr Mysterious had popped the big question and asked her and her youngest children to move in with him and his children. Whoa. Big deal! I couldn’t believe. She seemed happy yet a bit held back this time.

Cheri: Can I see the ring?

Celia: I didn’t take it!

Cheri: Why?

Celia: I turned him down. I couldn’t. And he was on his knee and shit. With a bouquet of roses marked, “For my fiancée”. It hurt like hell but I just couldn’t Chantal.

Cheri: *Jaw still on the floor* What? Why, Celia?

Celia: I’m not sure of this fella Chantal. I’ve only known him 5 months. He’s much younger than I am. He’s too fit for me. He’s Jamaican. I’m just settling into the whole thing and now he’s thrown me off with all this. Honestly, I’m not at the level yet. I can’t even fart or belch loud in his presence. I have to run off to the loo. U know, I need to get used to him to be able to do these things in his presence, THEN I’ll know I’m ready to settle in with him. For all I know he could want to marry me to use me to get a British Passport. I’m not even sure of his status in the country.

This made me laugh so hard even though she was in a serious predicament! The FART or BELCH point killed me.

I didn’t even have a valid piece of advice to give her.

So it begs the question;

When is it right/okay/appropriate to FART or BELCH in the presence of your partner and not feel embarrassed or feel the need to run and do it in the bathroom?