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Thank you for that question, my esteemed colleague. I shall endeavour to asnwer it in as many words as possible.

Yes. It worked.

I returned to Simba Telecom yesterday armed with conviction and courage and certainity, convinced that I would not be decieved again by this malarkey.

The previous week’s transcript had read as such.

“I want a bluetooth adapter so my phone and computer can connect.” 

“Bluetooth? Here is bluetooth.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Bluetooth.”

“It doesn’t say bluetooth.”

“But it is bluetooth.”

“You are positive? It will connect my phone and my computer?”

“Yes. Bluetooth!”

“You are absolutely sure?”

“Bluetooth, motherfucker!”


I was not going to be hypnotized into believing improbable things just by the repetition of certain words any more. He was not Obama and I was not America.


I said, “This device sir, that you sold me last week, sir, is not what you told me it was. It is a charlatan and an impostor, or if it is not, then you, sir, are! Whichever way the hat flops, I am here to surrender ownership and to insist on an adequate and appropriate replacement. Sir, you must now produce a real, actual  bluetooth adapter!”

I had even worn a tie for this.

The Indian tried to look shocked, then offended. “This is bluetooth. I gave you bluetooth. It is  bluetooth.”

We spent the next couple of hours arguing about what bluetooth was. 


Fortunately, at the end of my tether, I found a little package with the words bright and bold on the front: Targus Bluetooth Adapter.

It cost the same, so there would be no need for a refund. I pointed at it. “THAT is a bluetooth adapter. That is the one I shall take with me.”

And that is how I am finally able to post this picture. It is a package I saw in a shop a long long time ago.