I know some – I won’t name them. You know them—some cynical, hoity-toity, intarekcho too-cool-for-school bloggers who will snub their nose at the mere idea of blogging about Barack Obama. Unless it is to say that he is overhyped and overblown and that they cannot discern how his ascendance will influence the price of whatever domestic-use commodity they feel inclined to cite, they will shun the very mention of his name. 

Obama, puh-leese!” they will snort. “What’s the big deal.” With a full stop to indicate, as usual, that it is not a question, but is a statement.

Well, I am sorry. I am not on that bandwagon. I love me some Obama. I look at the man on screen and turn darker as the envy burns higher and higher. I wish my country had one of those, too.

Yes, he is a politician who is being treated like a rock star, but that is not a shortcoming on his part. It is not a fault that he is a supernova of sex appeal, a man so blazing hot that when the smitten interns start tumbling out of the closet by the dozen around 2012, each clinging to a stained item of clothing, there will be no impeachments at all. Just more envy.

The question we need to discuss is this: How will he affect our lives in Africa?

I have some ideas.

Don’t close Guantanamo bay. Leave it open.  With only two inmates. Lil Wayne and R.Kelly.

I'm embarassed just looking at him

I'm embarassed just looking at him

I am sure we all agree that we need to get Lil Wayne ejected from society and removed to a place where he can no longer do harm. Some misquided people may complain, but history will absolve us.


Eyes that will undress everything. Even your dog. Even in just a photo.

Eyes that will undress everything. Even your dog. Even in just a photo.



And if R.Kelly can be interred in a place where there are no TV cameras, meaning he cannot stare at our daughters with his slimy porny eyes album after album after album, Africa and the entire world will be even more grateful to President Obama.