Here comes another one, just like the other one. Three hundred sixty four and a quarter days long. Teeming with ass to kick. I am going to enjoy myself.
To that end I have equipped myself with some resolutions.
One: Walk naked in public on occasion. I have a nice-looking body. This may be difficult for some of you to believe because most of the time you see me I am hideously dressed, but I really think that if you set eyes on my awesome torso, my sculpted bottom, my divine calves and my pendulous et ceteras in all their unclad splendour you would appreciate that clothes just do not do me justice. You would be filled with awe when you realize that I wasn’t lying when I spoke of ten-packs. They do in fact exist, and I have a sterling example.
I really think that many people out there would appreciate the sight of a naked me walking down the street, and so I resolve to, once in a while, give the world the benefit of that sight. In Uganda no one tries to stop you if you walk around naked, so it will be perfectly safe.
Dos: Attempt to grow dreadlocks, fail in that attempt, opt to go for a bald-head look instead, fail in that as well, and return to the baseball cap shop. Probably have the cap surgically attached to my head so as to forestall any further flights of fancy. Dreadlocks? Me? I must be mad.
Satu: Make a serious commitment to Buy Uganda, Buy Quality. No more imported liquor. If they are out of Bell, Tonto will have to do. It hits the spot.
You guys, let’s make sure that 2009 is a better year, and that we are better people in it. In other words, please be nicer to me in 2009. Thank you.