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World-weary office drone emerges from behind door. Shuts it quietly behind him. Looks around. Sees table. Table with two dozen upturned mugs and three flasks standing on it. Office Drone walks over to table, picks up flask labeled “cofee” (sic) and pours himself a cup. Tosses four spoons of sugar in. Lifts mug and sniffs, then takes a loud slurp  which is disgusting, but Office Drone is pleased with himself nevertheless. He looks at door, takes a deep breath to steel his nerves and  is about to return to meeting behind closed door when out from behind corridor and from stairwell leap colleagues from other department.

Colleages from Other Department: Hah! We have got him! Red handed!

Mothers Union Looking Colleague: Thief!

Snorty Geek Bastard whips out mobile phone. Takes photograph with camera phone. It makes the clicky sound even because he is so geek, he never even turned the camera sounds off the way those of us who take pictures on the clande do.

Snorty Geek Bastard: I have the evidence. We can prosecute.

World Weary Office Drone: What, if I may ask, the fuck?

Former Schoolteacher in the Nineties: Who allowed you to steal this coffee! (The exclamation mark indicates that his tone was that of one making a declaration, not asking a question.)

Mothers U: This coffee is for our department. Who allowed you to take it?

WWOD: I am going to repeat my first question. What the fuck is going on?

FS90s:  We suspected that people from your department have been stealing our coffee when you come here for your meetings. Now we have caught you in the act. What have you got to say for yourself? Eh?

WWOD: Wait a minute. You guys hid in the corridors and under the stairs waiting for someone to come out and get some coffee? This was a coffee stakeout?  You are shitting me, I swear. Shitting me like I have never been shitted before. 

Mothers U: And can you please watch your language?

Snorty Geek: Don’t make things worse for yourself. (He thinks he is in an episode of CSI Kampala Industrial Area)

FS90s: Where are you going?

WWOD: I’m going back to my Slow Death by Meeting ™. I just realized that there actually are more absurd places to be than in there.

Mothers U: Bring back our coffee!

Door shuts in her face.