Welcome to the latest edition of Penis News Around The World. Your one-stop penis information source. If it is happening in the world of penii, we shall google it and find it and tell you all about it.
Transsexual men in Sweden— that is women who have undergone operations to have them converted into males — will be able to get free prosthetic penises next year. Transsexual women, or Swedish men who have been transformed into women, are already eligible for free breast implants, according to my sources at the Internet.
Naturally you must ask: if men who chose to become women get free boobs, but women who chose to be men can’t get dicks without fighting for them, what sort of sexism is that?
There is a problem with the prosthetic peckers, though, and that is that they do not, you-know, work. As in they are provided for aesthetic purposes only and cannot rise out of the limp condition in which they are initially supplied.
This is done on purpose.
You see, Swedish law will not allow state funds to be spent on sexual aids for transsexual people, who are eligible for sex-change surgery because they are disabled and therefore entitled to help in overcoming their handicap. But the state will not allow its funds to be spent on stiffies. If Sven wants one one of those, he will have to pay.
Antipop, you should know better. As far as penises are concerned, when a woman says a guys post is inadequate, he is only going to head to the internet to find ways of making it bigger.
Here we go. Special Extended (heh heh) edition of Penis News From Around The World.
They keep telling us about the health benefits of early circumcision. The latest trend in plastic surgery is a special kind of Botox called Vavelta, which cityfile.com describes as a “clear liquid made from millions of microscopic new skin cells” These cells are… wait for it… cultured from Babies’ foreskins! Waaah!
You will never look at Toni Braxton the same way again, will you? Not without thinking, “There goes a face full of bits of baby-dick.” (Story here)
In the United States of America, a very strange dude has been charged for stealing a dick enhancement cream product from the shelf of a store. Because he didn’t want to waste his time on some crap that doesn’t even work, he dashed, not out of the store and off to his home, but just a few metres over there to the toilets of the shop. And there he proceeded to test the cream.
It worked, apparently, so so so well, that he could not contain his excitement. He had to show somebody these awesome results. He burst out of the toilet cubicle, creamy wang and all, and made his way to the Barbie Doll section of the store. Where he flashed the Barbies. Twice.
The story from javno.com concludes : The police were called and promptly arrested the man as he returned to the toilet to apply more cream.
You see, Rev, not all Americans spend all day manufacturing sinister schemes to exterminate African races.
Speaking of the things Americans get up to (heh heh) when not plotting the annihilation of the Blak Afrikan Man, this fellow in Port St Lucie Florida swears that the penis pump which arrived at his home by mail, in a package that was apparently addressed to him, that was paid for with his own debit card, WAS NOT HIS.
He even called the police to report that someone has been using his debit card to purchase lewd pumping devices and he really cannot understand why.
wpbf.com says “The 38-year-old man told police he received a package containing a penis pump he didn’t pay for, according to an incident report. All the orders were apparently placed on the Internet using the man’s debit card. Police said the man notified his bank and closed the account.”
My friend here knows the feeling. To this day he still doesn’t know who stole his wallet and bought those DVDs of Wild Jamaican Mudwrestling Chicks I, II & III from Wallace at Semicon Videx on Luwum with his money without his consent and then brought them to his house and played them in his DVD player and watched them with his eyes.
At this point I urge you to show the same amount of restraint I have shown by not taking that image any further.