News From Around The World

Welcome to the latest edition of Penis News Around The World. Your one-stop penis information source. If it is happening in the world of penii, we shall google it and find it and tell you all about it.

Transsexual men in Sweden— that is women who have undergone operations to have them converted into males — will be able to get free prosthetic penises next year. Transsexual women, or Swedish men who have been transformed into women, are already eligible for free breast implants, according to my sources at the Internet.

Naturally you must ask: if men who chose to become women get free boobs, but women who chose to be men can’t get dicks without fighting for them, what sort of sexism is that?

There is a problem with the prosthetic peckers, though, and that is that they do not, you-know, work. As in they are provided for aesthetic purposes only and cannot rise out of the limp condition in which they are initially supplied.

This is done on purpose.

You see, Swedish law will not allow state funds to be spent on sexual aids for transsexual people, who are eligible for sex-change surgery because they are disabled and therefore entitled to help in overcoming their handicap. But the state will not allow its funds to be spent on stiffies. If Sven wants one one of those, he will have to pay.

 

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Update

Antipop, you should know better. As far as penises are concerned, when a woman says a guys post is inadequate, he is only going to head to the internet to find ways of making it bigger.

 

Here we go. Special Extended (heh heh) edition of Penis News From Around The World.

 

a dick
a dick

 They keep telling us about the health benefits of early circumcision. The latest trend in plastic surgery is a special kind of Botox called Vavelta, which cityfile.com describes as a “clear liquid made from millions of microscopic new skin cells” These cells are… wait for it… cultured from Babies’ foreskins! Waaah! 

You will never look at Toni Braxton the same way again, will you? Not without thinking, “There goes a face full of bits of baby-dick.”  (Story here)

 a dick

In the United States of America, a very strange dude has been charged for stealing a dick enhancement cream product from the shelf of a store. Because he didn’t want to waste his time on some crap that doesn’t even work, he dashed, not out of the store and off to his home, but just a few metres over there to the toilets of the shop. And there he proceeded to test the cream.

 It worked, apparently, so so so well, that he could not contain his excitement. He had to show somebody these awesome results. He burst out of the toilet cubicle, creamy wang and all, and made his way to the Barbie Doll section of the store. Where he flashed the Barbies. Twice.

 The story from javno.com concludes :  The police were called and promptly arrested the man as he returned to the toilet to apply more cream.

 You see, Rev, not all Americans spend all day manufacturing sinister schemes to exterminate African races.

 a dick

Speaking of the things Americans get up to (heh heh) when not plotting the annihilation of the Blak Afrikan Man, this fellow in Port St Lucie Florida swears that the penis pump which arrived at his home by mail, in a package that was apparently addressed to him, that was paid for with his own debit card, WAS NOT HIS.

He even called the police to report that someone has been using his debit card to purchase lewd pumping devices and he really cannot understand why.

wpbf.com says “The 38-year-old man told police he received a package containing a penis pump he didn’t pay for, according to an incident report. All the orders were apparently placed on the Internet using the man’s debit card. Police said the man notified his bank and closed the account.”

 My friend here knows the feeling. To this day he still doesn’t know who stole his wallet and bought those DVDs of Wild Jamaican Mudwrestling Chicks I, II & III from Wallace at Semicon Videx on Luwum with his money without his consent and then brought them to his house and played them in his DVD player and watched them with his eyes.

 At this point I urge you to show the same amount of restraint I have shown by not taking that image any further.

 

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30 Comments

  1. yep. this is what happens when people a k a princess ask for posts. other people aka baz, will post something, anything, just so they can please beggars aka princess again. did i even make sense right there?

  2. Implants and artificial peckers are free in Sweden? I’m going for my breast enhancement. I first have to find a Swede to marry right? So I’m a citizen. I’d better hurry and find someone online. After my D-cup, I’ll come back and make y’all jealous.

  3. this just in; man chews own ass, claims SOMEONE else- possibly Elton John- chewed it. speaking in a hospital bed, man said, he felt a starnge sensation from his BEHIND and when he turned around to check, it was bruised. police hunting for known ass chewers to find out where they were on the morning of Tuesday Nov 18th. we shall keep you posted as information trickles in.

    The OnionTV

  4. This just in, police have called off the pursuit for the ass-chewer after it came to light that the victim was in the habit of telling people to kiss his ass. It appears he had the pain in the ass coming to him.

  5. dude, there you go soiling the face, image and reputation of my sex idol toni. now i have to find a new one. wait. antipop my love will you take over please?

  6. baz, mmm , then she had better hurry up with sending that semi nude photo of herself to me right quick!

    ivan, not cocky, a dick more likely.

  7. Eleet, bambi (or rather, bwana) me i meant she has already taken over the post. Anything else is between you, her, and her dude who just got out of jail and i hear can carve a shank out of anything, even your femur, and then stab you with it.

  8. lol @ Ivan…
    Baz there is poo all over this post. I thought that month was closed. I’ve had enough of those transvestite peeps.
    Just today I realised that an entity who for the past two weeks I thought is a dude is actually a she. Am still cracked up..I mean short neat trim, gentle trousers & shoes and a male Jacket..creepy.

  9. whoa! looks like i mizzed this party! what was the theme? Trash Antipop’s Squeaky Fantastic Reputation costume party where eleet came dressed as lucifer and baz as set anne?

  10. Oh, and he was sent to jail for possession of narcotics and illegal trafficking of small animals. But she loooves him regardless. For who he is on the inside.

  11. I’ve never seen Baz comment so much on his own blog. Must be true then that Antipop took over. I even forgot what I came to say. However, I remember wondering when a banana became a d***?

  12. Minty, it’s cause I can’t think of anything new to post. I have been intimidated. What if my next post is lame? Antipop isn’t polite. She won’t just keep quiet and pretend there is nothing wrong. She will heckle me from the crowd. I’m scared of her now.

    She’s giving me stage fright. Make her stop.

    Though being equated with Victoria kind of brings my self esteem back.

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