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There were two interesting movies I saw on a recent weekend, both of which had interesting plots which I will not be telling you about because we must address the far more intriguing matter of Anne Hathaway’s and Christian Bale’s mouths.

Let’s get Bale’s out of the way first. Bale, who recently starred in The Dark Knight, a movie which couldn’t have aroused the fanboys more if it were sweet lesbian porn, acted the Batman part in a mask that tugged his nostrils upward and caused him to speak in a grunty way. We blamed the mask for Bale’s wierd way of talking, but to find the culprit who was truly responsible, you have to watch The Prestige, starring him and Hugh Jackman.

They play turn-of-the-other-century magicians in this movie and, while Wolverine plays his role in an American accent, Batman speaks in cockney. And that is when you realise what is wrong with his voice. It was not the mask to blame.


There is some strange echoing going on with his voice, a way the sounds slosh around in his mouth before he utters them. Christian Bale’s mouth is evidently more hollow than that of a normal human being.

For more details, ask Christopher Nolan. 

(34337, if you don’t get that joke, I  will never spell your name correctly again.)


But his mouth is not as strange as that of Anne Hathaway, who starred in Get Smart along with Terry Crews, Masi Oka, Terrence Stamp, the Great Khali, and even the dude from Weeds.


At many points during this awesome movie (oh, Carell was in it as well, I think) Anne Hathaway’s mouth seemed to be performing off cue. It is a large, broad and erratic mouth, full of massive teeth and, probably because of its vast volume, it is ungainly and clumsy. Hathaway seems to have trouble coordinating those gargantuan lips because at times it felt like I was watching an overdubbed Spanish-language soap because the wobbling of the lips and the blare of the teeth did not occur in synch with the words she was actually saying. I frequently found myself asking if that was really her mouth, because at times it seemed like it was actually just a mouth-shaped pet that had wandered onto the set and was playing its own random games on her face, obscuring her real mouth.  

Miss Hathaway and mouth 

Plus, what is it with Anne Hathaway’s left eye? That thing is so lopsided I am sure it is going to fall off one day.