Hot young chick and creepy old man

No, sir, it is not accurate to call Michael Jackson the greatest entertainer in the world. He Was the greatest entertainer in the world back when he was still entertaining, but now he is just a plastic pop has-been who dangles his own babies around and probably touches other people’s babies in bad ways. And steals Beatles music. And co-opts the cause of struggling artists and their copyright struggles. And dresses really badly.
With his birthday celebrations today, he added yet another adjective to his name. Jackson is now 50, which makes him an OLD plastic, baby-dangling, bad way-touching, Beatles catalogue-stealing, copyright cause-co-opting, pop has-been.

To underscore the enormity of this event namely, Jacko making it to 50, let’s look at what 50 means.
A few other people who are 50 years old.

Christianne Amanpour is 50.
Christianne Amanpour is the half Iranian-half British Chief International Correspondent for CNN international, an evil western media organisation that never says anything positive about Africa. Amanpour is married and has one child, who she has never dangled over a balcony in full view of a mob of fans.

Ellen Degeneres is 50
Ellen Degeneres is a funny talk-show host who has starred in a popular sitcom that was named after her, and has won awards and acclaim for her goofy comedy routines. Degeneres does not sleep with little children. She sleeps with Portia de Rossi.
Michael Clarke Duncan is 50
Michael Clarke Duncan is a fridge with legs and arms who was first a bouncer before switching to the relatively pussy career of movie acting. Michael Clarke Duncan starred in The Green Mile, but he also starred in Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, one of the most dire things ever ever. Michael Clarke Duncan built his body up with steroids, not with plastic surgery.


You see? 50 is the age of Amanpour, Mac and that doughy lesbian from the Emmys. I had a point early on when I started this post, but now I cannot remember what it is.  Take this guy’s point instead.

On Madonna, MiJack and some other guy turning 50

And now to more important things. Obama .. I mean, Ominde:

This, ladies, gentlemen and others, is Sheila Ominde, the Kenyan contestant, if they can be called that, in the Big Brother house.

Mbu Contestant. Contesting in staying indoors? I don’t see this becoming an Olympic sport any time soon.

Sheila cusses virulently and many of you will concur: that is a very agreeable trait in a young lady. I find myself in full support of this girl and wish her the best.

I was showing you Sheila.

After being a foul-mouthed Kenyan babe and pulling all the accolades that brings, however, Sheila turned around and disappointed her fans marginally, when it was revealed that she is, in full, Sheila Ominde and is a former Miss Tourism Kenya.

A beauty pageant winner.

WTF.

Life is messed up, people. I mean, you put yourself out there, you dare to trust, you believe in someone and then they turn out to be a former beauty queen.

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30 Comments

  1. And Sheila is a lesbian. Not that I have anything against Lesbians. I love Lesbians, so I love Sheila.

  2. Sheila has a rocko pose??? LOL, u’re crazy about her alright.
    Her lips look like they smoke 40 fags a day. Very ladylike.

    Chill M.J, he made everyone do the moonwalk. Even thriller is the best selling album EYVAH!!!!! Leave him alone Baz.
    I hear his kathing slid off. Forgive him, everybody ridicules him already. Bambi leave MJ alone, he’s black or white.

  3. Extreme cursing worked for Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s SOUTH PARK. But it doesn’t work all the time in all situations. Especially when it is young girls swearing like sailors.
    It ‘s not fair that we tolerate cursing when men do it, but who said that the world is fair? It isn’t, and that’s something we have to get used to.
    But then again, Cest la vie!

  4. Baz, I’m afraid you are turning into a creepy old man if a child like Sheila rocks your boat.

    Oh, and didn’t your idiot box get stolen? Who’s corrupting you now?

  5. Someone just dissed Ugandan bloggers in today’s Monitor. Mbu none of you (except Tumwi and 27th) make any sense, and none of you blogs useful things.

    Plus, that at the UBHH all you do is chase each other around restaurants and ogle strange American men because they are tall.

    Don’t shoot! I am just the messenger

  6. @Peternjenga:
    “It ’s not fair that we tolerate cursing when men do it…”that’s something we have to get used to.

    WE?

    Speak for yourself, dude. Personally I couldn’t give a shit if she curses or not.

    Oh dear, look what I just did. Peter.. gonna vote me off now?

  7. victoris i think its dennis who did i have the piece on my table abd i am thinking i need to shoot him and u!!

  8. Baz, please, don’t shoot this time. Last year’s drabbing was enough, I say. And this goes for Nate too. Fact is, we sometimes can’t change how people look at the world.

  9. @ Peter, I came in and wrote 1000 words about how I love Sheila for cursing, then this whole Dennis Muhumuza thing started.

    @Vicky and everyone, it’s Dennis Muhumuza. He’s been mad since everyone scolded him for writing about how he drowned his cat in the latrine.

  10. MJ looks like an anorexic drag! that christianne GIRL is 50? she looks 30. but then again, i am only 17 but people be there telling me i look 12. I guess some of us are lucky.

    And then there is Dennis D who attacks the elite(am i right? am i right?) just to remain relevant. and this not just because he called me short

  11. Lol…Baz. Totya. They will come for u!!! The establishment.

    Would it still be called “Drowning”? That act of killing your animal/pet by submerging it in a pit latrine? Yuck. Dennis Muhumuza? And then u go and “hurt” bloggers like this?

  12. My boss read the Monitor article and gave me this ‘Did I hear you blog too? So this is why you’ve been spending so much time on the net?’ look.

  13. So is Dennis Muhumuza a failed blogger? Wonder why he did not cite Baz, seeing that you are from a rival paper.

    And who says every blog has to repeat what’s in the papers? Or that blogs have to be serious?

    Maybe his brain did not recover from the ammonia in the latrine. Maybe he also swallowed some

  14. Abaana abaaye…

    I’m sorry but I want this to turn out into a vile word slanging match but I’m so disappointed. Lemme throw the first stone.

    ………………………………………………….

    The one who crosses this line will be declared the strongest.

  15. Quoting Baz
    ” WTF.

    Life is messed up, people. I mean, you put yourself out there, you dare to trust, you believe in someone and then they turn out to be a former beauty queen.”

    I want to believe your tongue was firmly in cheek when writing about Sheila…… As a Kenyan female she ANNOYS me no end – i admire some things about her but the ‘cussing’??! No! Maybe its my age.

  16. I would still bang her, soon as the wife was not looking.
    PS: THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS POST ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE ORIGINAL SHEDI….

  17. we nigerians love shiela,she is very intelligent and free spirit,she is a strong woman and will need a very strong man to keep her straight and very lovable too.just like Angelina Jolie.

  18. sheila rocked dat bba3 hse is completely dead wiout her….its so fvked up dat africa is so intimidated my a strong,beautiful,intelligent out-spoken independent women like sheila..they prefer the boring speak only wen spoken to uptight men r beta dan women kitchen wives…ROCK ON SHEILA N FVK DA HATERZ

  19. You all are full of shit if you call MJ a pedofile! He made a mistake by paying the first accusers to go away. Because then the other lil faggot boy’s parents tried it and lost. Don’t you people watch the news or like idiots, you come to your own conclusions? Despite what is obviously the facts, the poor guy was battered with assholes who refuse to give the guy half a chance. OK, he had his ways, no one can dispute that. Give the guy a break! You assholes are the very reason we lost an icon in the music industry. It’s because of idiots like you that the poor guy decided that he didn’t care anymore and probably off himself. I wish you fuckers suffer a slow and agonizing death for what you did to the poor guy! He was found innocent! not, “not guiltya” like thae asshole O.J. Simpson INNOCENT!!! Do you morons know what that means!? Leave the guy alone and go fuck yourselves!!! I wish you fucker the worst that life had to offer for the idiots you are!

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