Bamboozled

I succumbed to statistics last week. Someone entered my home while I was at work and snuck out with my television, leaving me with nothing but a contribution to the crime rate.
I will not say “rising” crime rate because I have read the letters to the editor pages and know how easy it is to presume that just because your personal crime rate has risen the same applies cross-country.

So for a week now I have been sans idiot box. You can see the effects. I am already getting smarter. I speak French now.

Things I don’t miss about TV—

Humpy Kay. Humpy Kay is a hyperactive video jockey from Record TV who always wears large sunglasses, moves like Kermit the Frog, and barks. That is to say he emits frequent yelp-like ejaculations of “Yah! Yah! Yah!” throughout the show, a spastic tourettes sufferer. I really keep thinking somebody should call a doctor. He looks like he needs help.

Things I do miss about TV? I would have liked to see my friend Beti Kamya on the TV news. Did she say, “I have had it with FDC and their lies. I gave them some of the best years of my life. After all the bullshit I spewed on behalf of those ingrates this is how they treat me?”

Eventually I will break down and go buy another set, but in the meantime, let’s see just how clever I can get.

P.S. For those who know themselves, I finally got something to put on http://neverman.wordpress.com

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31 Comments

  1. Reminds me of the time we had only UTV and the anchor would announce ” Up next is This Farming World”

  2. it may not be obvious to you but believe it or not, that guy who took your screen did you considerable justice. You will realise this at the end of the month when UMEME sends you the bill.

  3. I am sulking. It says 9 comments but where are the nine comments? I can’t find them, however hard and long I click the link

  4. So it is true – the goons that used to terrorize Kyaliwajjala – Namugongo are out of Luzira. My housie said she’s seen them around, and now your TV’s gone. At least it went with the writer’s block (Yaaayy!)

    I still can’t see the comments, mbu now they are 11.

  5. Sorry about the mixup with the double-post and the not showing the comments and why am I the one apologising when it is the WordPress woman to blame?

  6. Let me be predictable: SSHYAAAA! Why a woman?

    This is very funny – FOUR people believe they have socks on this post!! Hahaha!

  7. Hey
    how many peeps are claiming sockies… 4 chaps and as uausl it is Magoo doing justice…

    Hmmmn

    Wait them chaps are back from Luzira huh!
    and all they took was your scren Baz

    did they fins any manuscripts of Bad Idea the continuation???

    Hola

  8. Bambi, sorry about yo TV. U shd stop watching Record n watch NTV, it is the TV for the people. Ugly Betty, What About Brian n so much more.

  9. Humpy kay,that boy definately has some wrong with him.

    and y are pips fighting over socks when there ar lasties to win down here.

  10. Sorry Cheri.

    Chanel, trust Di, NTV is being on point. If I hadn’t watched everything on pirated DVD already anyway, NTV would have made me miss my TV.

    Victoria, Why NOT a woman? You and Rev want to convince us that women are not capable of evil?

    And I guess that makes these lasties.

  11. There is a HOT show called Vumbula on WBS. I would miss my TV for that show. And not just because of Drake Sekeba’s large-checked jackets.

  12. Rubs, I will thank you when you bring in a plasma screen.

    Who is Katende Malibu?

    Vicky, what is Vumbula? Sounds like a fashion show of some sort.

  13. Baz, sorry about the theft of your idiot box, or should i say congratulations, you are now are a statistic!!!

    I vote to burn Humpy Kay at the stake, who’s with me?
    Thank God for Cable TV, if you don’t know what i’m talking about, move into any flats, Bugolobi, Makerere, Bukoto,etc and you’ll never have to suffer record TV again and it only costs 35k, isn’t God good?

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