Dismay and consternation and an ad break

I discovered to my great dismay this week that — give me a minute to gasp in consternation— Gasp! Gasp again! Gasp Even More!! — four copies of my mystery-detective thriller spy horror erotic novel can still be found squatting ignobly on the shelves of Aristoc Bookshop in Garden City.

What? Four? Why?

 sean kingston with Worst Idea

Why are there four people who have not yet bought this wondrous and stimulating fantasy sci-fi classic adventure novel? Do they not know what enormous benefits will accrue? Did I not say it was erotic?

It has been proven, in laboratories moreover, that this book massively increases sexual attractiveness in men. Case studies have shown that being seen with a copy of this book renders all men instantly Denzel. The following thoughts were recorded going through random women’s heads when they saw test subjects holding copies or Worst Idea:

“Oh my! I am suddenly overcome with desire! I want to be wrapped in his stringy little arms, to run my fingers through his unkempt kaweke and to kiss his chapped and smelly lips so bad.”

Similar, though not as drastic, results were found when the genders were reversed. Men found themselves completely unable to objectify women who held this book, as this transcript from a test subject recording shows:

“Whoa. Totally hot chick. Nice rack. And she is all kapapal—wait. She is holding an intellectual book. She must be very intelligent and must possess and excellent sense of humour and a wonderful personality. I had better not go over to ask her if it hurt when she fell from heaven. It evidently did, and smart chicks hate obvious questions.”

If that is not enough to convince the four of you to buy this book, then let me appeal to your patriotism. Support the nation, assist in development. Buy Ugandan products. I need to get tickets for Dark Knight.

And I think my writers block is gone, considering I just drafted 200 words of advertising copy.



  1. No my dear. Bringing that funny looking Sean Kingston back to us is a serious syptom of writer’s block.

  2. I should have known this was not a legit(just been at cheri’s) post. Looks to me like brokness has run you out of retirement already. But this is a new low. Hawking your own book shamelessly!

  3. Lol, wondrous, erotic, sci-fi, mills and boon,fantasy, adventurous,stimulating piece of work…u even used more “hard” words per sentence than eyvah!

    But I thought I’d bought all those copies from them. Tell your publishers to stop printing more of the books.

  4. I will buy the next one. The smart, DenzelPittClooney guys might see me holding a copy of this one and think something like ‘beauty without brains … hot chick, kapapala etc, still reading that book!?’

    Just a joke. As of 2 pm today there will be only three copies at Aristoc. And 313 will have to buy them, seeing as he loves ‘threes’ (threesomes?)

  5. Oh, and I bought like … two copies for people as presents this year. Where’s my special mention?

  6. I am a student. By law, students are entitled to free things. We are not money earners yet. We are the future brains of the nation. We are the future Bazanye’s. The future bad idea writters. We need books to nourish our brains.
    Where can I pick up my free copy ?

  7. Hi guys, Node Six has setup a feed aggregator for Ugandan bloggers, still in test / development phase.

    Please visit our blog for the link and tell us what you think

    We’ll be adding the additional features with time.


  8. i have the book..i am yet to be approached by the aforementioned women thinking the stray thoughts illustrated above…but i must say its a good book(read it has fewer typos than most)..i hope with that brilliant review il help u,baz, sell those last copies…

  9. Mizo students nowadays have money. Forget Tumbo’s antics in Betrayal in the City that the money is merely theoratical. How, otherwise do you explain ownership of those fancy phones you people carry on campus?

  10. I’m responsible for one of those copies remaining on the shelf. I allowed a friend to borrow my personal copy to read on a bus trip to Bujumbura instead of insisting he go pick up his own damn copy.

  11. @ Don, we don’t have money. Those phones have many origins. For some its from their sugar daddies and mummies, for other its their real mummies and daddies. Others get them throught unclear means more commonly referred to as deals.
    Don, I need to nourish my young mind with a copy of that book.we can work out something, there is this cute gal in my class……………………….. 🙂

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