Emiti Emito

Yuppie Marketing Chick strides into office, beaming: Yooo Peepoh! I have just come from Nandos and do you know what happened there?

Aloof Audit Guy: Never go to Nandos. That place is for snobs.
YMC: No, it’s not. That is just what broke people say. But Muganwa, why are you bitter? Kola Ng’omuddu. Work hard and you will become rich, then you will be able to join us in Nandos. Pizza tastes nymmm..
Perpetual Coffee Mug on Desk Guy: If a person refuses to go to Nandos it doesn’t mean they are broke. I mean, look at the Boss…

Boss: (Doesn’t hear. He is in his cubicle facebooking. Or IMing campus chicks. Whichever.)

PCMDG: He makes more than all of us, but do you ever see him in Nandos?

YMC: The boss is old, darli. Nandos is for funky people. To happen there you have to be young and cool…
AAG: Then how come they allowed you to…
YMC: Store your nugu for afterwards, okay? I was trying to tell a story.

Yuppie Editorial Chap: Wamma, Fiona, you tell us. What happened?
YMC: Nga don’t I almost knock Sekagya?
YEC: Margaret Sekagya?
YMC: I was like getting out of my parking space, then I reached to the radio to tune it because Biggy Biggy Ben was playing some lame crap song… Sean Kingston… then and because I wasn’t looking, didn’t I almost run right into this Pajero? I look up and who is the driver glaring at me in shock?
Remember Office Intern?: Who?
Aloof Audit Guy: Sigh. The story is about Margaret Sekagya, banange, so who do you think?
OI:  Who is Margaret Sekagya?

YMC: I almost wee-wee’d myself.
YMC: I said keep the nugu for after the story, whattabout.
AAG: It is after the story.

OI: Oh, Margaret Sekagya. I know her. She presents Emiti Emito on WBS, yeah?
AAG: She is the head of the Human Rights Commission, Doofus.
YEC: Dude, don’t call her a doofus. What is wrong with you?
AAG: Well, she is certainly not a genius.
YEC: As if there are no things she knows that you don’t know?
AAG: That one? Anything she knows that I don’t is not worth knowing.

Two hours later.

AAG: Why didn’t you guys tell me I had been walking around with my fly opened?
YEC, PCMDG, YMC, OI: You said it wasn’t worth knowing.



  1. Perpetual Coffee Mug on Desk Guy, we have an understanding. Not about Nandos. About the Coffee Mug.
    Starbucks after 10?
    Yes, I am asking you out.

  2. I’ve just realized I don’t know the name of that Emiti Emito woman. I think she’s called (say this in your most stupid bad child mimicking sickeningly sweet voice) Baaaambi Abaaana Dabiliyu Bi Yeeeesi.

  3. heheheeh but why did the nandos chick have to be called Fiona? yeeyee at least call her Victo

  4. I have refused the last part… Office intern is too daft to have cosigned…

    But Baz, I have lolled at …”It is after the story”

    Yes, she is called Eseza omutto n’abatoto.

  5. Fortunately I am Victoria, not Victo

    Biggy Biggy does play many lame crappy songs. The only fine ones are by Sean Yummy Kingston

    Baz, what music was playing on the office speakers while this conversation was going on?

  6. “AAG: Why didn’t you guys tell me I had been walking around with my fly opened?”

    Yiyi, Baz! How could you have left your fly ‘opened’?

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