The natural question is: Who is Lady Bizzle?
Lady Bizzle is Rebecca Namitala and is one of Uganda’s leading arguments against the freedom of the broadcast media.
She is deejay on the “youth” radio station Hot 100 FM, and presents a show in the late afternoons, playing music by the likes of Lil Boosie, Shawnna, Young Berg, Chris Brown and that pervy-looking one—the one who looks like he likes to watch. Like he sneaks into motels and hides in closets and watches strange couples commit adultery. What’s his name?
Ne-Yo. That’s right.
It’s so sick. I know.
In addition to pressing the relevant buttons to expedite transitions between Boosie and Mashonda, Lady Bizzle also speaks. And that is the problem. She refuses to speak in a normal, comprehensible accent like the one most young Ugandans use and strives instead to speak like Tyra.
Not being that skilled a mimic, however, she comes across sounding more like a drunken Bosnian with tooth damage than a bona fide Brooklynite. It is an experience watching her try so hard and then fail so dismally. The sheer incompetence is mesmerising and I find that during the minutes I have been glued, spellbound by her monologues, my jaw has dropped and drops of DOI have been making pitter patter sounds on the floor.
DOI is Drool Of Incredulity by the way.
And she keeps going. On and on. Getting less and less coherent as she goes on until minutes later you cannot even figure out what language she is trying to speak. Is she speaking in Portuguese now? I often wonder.
I think we should do something about this. We, as Ugandans with telephone airtime.
This is the plan. I am going to challenge a select group of bloggers with mobile phones, namely: Ivan, Edmo, Antipop, Dee ,and the elusive Phantom to call Lady Bizzle during her show and send greetings out to um… who? To Nathan Kakaire of Jinja.
The trick is you have to try and out-weng her.
Send your “gratin’s out ta Narthin Krkairy if Jonjur”, perhaps.
Come on, don’t be chicken. You know we will all be listening.
Why? Becasue it will rule, of course. Why else?
Update: The station is 100.9 fm, Minty. I have to rush to visit important people now, but tomorrow I will have the number and, hopefully, a sound clip.
Even upper update: I have the number. It is 0902 900 601. Sample clip coming up.