It is nothing personal, but are there no other superstars I can objectify by placing them on my computer desktop to look silently nice and smiley while I work?

Somebody needs to come up with a new person.

Yes, they “come up with” them. They are fabricated. Created. By forces outside of them. What you see here is not an actual human being—it is a work of fiction created through the collaboration of make-up artists, hair stylists, fitness trainers, publicists, computer graphics specialists, showbiz media, agents, managers and a little effort from a little Texan woman called Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter. A little effort. For the most part all she does is sit there and be subjected to transformation into an object.

ready for jelly