The problem with music these days is that they just don’t write it like they used to. Musicians these days have lost the art of crafting lyrics, that’s what the problem is. In the past, in the golden days, the days of the oldies, indeed the golden oldies, song writing was an art. These days it’s all fluff and bubblegum. Disposable trash. Trash indeed.

I mean, look at this example from one of the greatest songwriters in history (Prepare to be astounded by Lyrics from a masterpiece!):

He opens by asking, “How you gonna do it if you really don’t want to dance? By standing on the wall?”

It is a rhetorical question, of course. You can’t answer that. That is why the band pre-empt any response on the part of the subject being addressed by barking:

Get your back up off the wall!

That’s right! You cannot do it if you really don’t want to dance. You need to get your back up off the wall!

And just to emphasise this profound statement, the band repeat it. 

How you gonna do it if you really don’t want to dance? By standing on the wall?

Indeed. Many times in life we stand on the wall, and wonder how we are really gonna do it. There is only one way to do it. We need to …

Get your back up off the wall!

That is why the immortal words of these poets continue to inspire us, generation after generation:

Get down on it! Come on and get down on it!

If you really want it! Get down on it! You gotta feel it

And they nail it down with a resounding finality by saying, “Get Down. On It.”
That is why Kool & The Gang are legendary, that is why those words ring throughout history. None of these hollering whippersnappers of these days can pen a lyric half as sophisticated!

The great thing about the musicians of the past was that they were real artists. Not just singers, but artists! They didn’t just sing about simanyi shaking kabina and drinking, they sang about ISSUES. For example, look at ABBA, (also known by Capital FM fans as The Abbas). Take the example of their opus, Dancing Queen. Look at how they weave together such an arresting story, so rich in detail and so compelling that it is almost visual: We can all relate to the persona in the song!

“You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine”

Can’t you already feel the texture of the environment they describe? Don’t you almost smell the air, and doesn’t your hair stand on end? Isn’t it as if they reached into your mind and said exactly what you were thinking?

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen!

No one in your so-called modern music has even come close to such poetry!

Who dares to stand against such a mountain of evidence? Who, in their craziest dreams, imagines that they can surmount this towering mountain of evidence that the songwriters of the past, the lyricists of the seventies were cream that makes the clowns of these days look like rotting cat faeces? Excuse me for using such a disgusting image, but, like the singers I admire so much, I go for the most powerful metaphors. For example, remember the genius of Boney M?

“Daddy, Daddy Cool. Daddy, Daddy Cool. Daddy, Daddy Cool. Daddy, Daddy Cool” they sing. “She’s crazy like a fool. What about it, Daddy Cool.”

And then they switch suddenly in a thrilling twist and say, “I’m crazy like a fool. What about it Daddy Cool.”

And I haven’t even mentioned that complex intellectualism of Freak Out by Chic, but I think I have made it clear.

Yes. Music these days is trash. Music of the old day is unimpeachable.