The papist hordes have descended upon us. The price of rolex has hit seven hundred, boda bodas have doubled their fare and there is nary a tonto calabash to be found. We expect peace to return in a day’s time, when the crowd dissipates, leavening behind, as they do every year, a malodorant mist and a sea of empty condom packets but in the meantime, it is only fitting that we commemorate this occasion with a youtube clip of Eddie Murphy wondering what would happen If Mr T was gay .


Also in the news this week:

The Times would like to know what you think of this vomitacious thing.

Which, as it turns out, is a painting by Picasso. Wikipedia says Picasso was an “artist”. This is proof that Wikipedia is not that reliable. The fact that it calls him an artist and not “an unscrupulous conman who made money by selling monst– eugh! That thing is so freakishly obscenely ugly it has fractured my vocabulary. I am out of words.

Hold on.

stupid woman