Fight for the phone

Hot Office Chick and Old Pro descend upon the telephone. Their hands grab it at the same time.

HOC: I was here first.
Pro: Well, I need it more.
HOC: Dude, I have to call Juliana to confirm our appointment. If I don’t confirm, she might postpone again. I’ve been chasing her for weeks.
Pro: Well, I have to call Beti Kamya. Let go of the phone. My call is more important.
HOC: More important? Shyaaa!
Pro: What do you mean shyaa? Beti Kamya is…
HOC: Beti Kamya is a shameless, pandering, wannabe demagogue whose stock in trade is bullshit. Which is more important? You going over to record the unflinching lies of a serial propagandist so that you can convey them as legitimate political discourse, thus perpetuating the myth that Uganda actually has a political opposition, when in fact all we have is a band of fury-fuelled rabble-rousers who only claim to fight for the people when in fact they are just using the people as weapons as they pursue their own vendettas and their own ambitions– you think that is more important? Puh-leese. At least Juliana impacts positively on people’s lives. At least she makes people happy..
Pro: (Reeling from the onslaught.) Okay. You have the phone. Kyokka you movementists…
HOC: Wait, where do you think you’re going? I’m not through yet. This so-called “Forum” in the first place…

 (meanwhile, the Interns had walked in walked in during the “argument”.)

Intern I: Who iz Betty Kamya?
Intern II: Beti. She spells it with a single t and an i.
Intern I: I dnt kno hr. Wat song doez she sing?

key. the symbol of FDC



  1. Ehh, Demagogue.

    But yo Interns are collected from where? That plastic caravan right outside yo office? That thing is the go-cool for that area at nite…

  2. and the scene continues

    Intern2: Kyoka you. She represents people
    Intern1: Represents—as in like Juliana oba Bebe?
    Intern2: Me, don’t waste my time. Ask Pro
    Intern1: (gets her lip balm). Leave me, i love my face

  3. Carlo sweetheart, I came from over there [points at Google reader] and came here [waves hand vaguely over screen displaying Bazanye’s blog]

  4. Baz, my super hero![1]

    I want to lay HOC. Already!
    But, more-importantly, there is the whole thing about the last line. The delivery, the timing, the wording. Genius punchline.

    [1] Dee, yes, be a little bit worried.

  5. @ don, you should have just left it where baz stopped. you had to go and spoil it. who goes and mutilates an intelligent post like this without remorse? don or whomever. say sorry.

  6. I’m still trying to decode the key. Si there’s a song called ‘Kisumuluzo’; is that the answer to Intern 1’s question?

    @antipop, I agree. But Don has it right on with the lip balm act.

  7. Eeh Banange! I am reeling from this onslaught on good old Beti! Whatever did she do to HOC? Or to Baz?

    But just think about it … Betty Kamya going ‘kisumuluzo’ as she does that hand turning thing as if turning a key in a lock and shaking her hips, with a naughty smile on the face – sacrilegious!

  8. @31337. Two questions

    1. were you born on 31st March 1937?
    2. At the risk of sounding like Intern I: What is Google reader?

  9. Vic, just a thought, where is your blog anyhow? Baz, i shall save your the trouble of throwing me out, i heft myself through the window….CRASH!!! Who left the open bucket of paint there? Blundering idiot!

  10. Ha ha! You are a dolt 31337 – And I am proud to be the only one here ( I think) without a blog.

    And thanks for styling me up. I can now go over to my pals and say ‘Oh, I had a very interesting day today at Google Reader’. And have fun observing the impressed jealousy on their countenaces

  11. Baz i b an intern myself but afta reading yo conversations, i don’t want nyone to find out. We r’nt that ignorant n where do u get yours? From planent Stupid? Love yo stories but. They b my entertainment when not working.

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