Karitas Karisimbi, Straka Mwezi, Juliana Kanyomozi, Beyonce (Or how to trick people into visiting your blog through google searches)

A while back, (August last year to be precise) I put up a post in which I made a harmless good-natured joke about NBS TV’s morning show, in which I attempted to depict one of its anchors as a halfwit Neanderthal lacking in rudimentary language skills. Okay, it wasn’t harmless good-natured fun, it was spiteful mockery motivated by malice and executed with contempt and scorn.

Here it is. It featured one Pongo.

(Update. I deleted the post and the pictures because of, well, long story)

I don’t watch NBS TV with the volume on. With it on mute, I can see the cute co-anchor chick bob her head around without actually having to hear what she is saying as I sip my morning Good African.

Buy Ugandan, people, buy quality.

Anyway, Going face.

When I look at my stats, I discover that people take some very unusual routes to get to this blog but I assume that those who come here after a google search for Bebe Cool, Sweet Kid, orWhat Is Wrong With Africa, soon realise that they have hit the wrong venue, and depart to try elsewhere.

A couple of people who got here after searching for NBS TV, however, did not turn around with a curt “Excuse me, wrong number.” A couple of them stayed long enough to leave comments.

Now, believe me when I say this, because I say this from the bottom of my very heart of hearts: I appreciate every single person who drops by and reads my blog. I do. A lot of people say they don’t care whether they get comments or not, but it is comments that make me go beyond just appreciating visitors. In some cases comments plunge me into the potentially dangerous territory of falling into psycho love with them. Like right now, I am ready to have Victoria’s kids.
I feel considerable sadness when they vanish (Fujitsu, Maybe, Shasha, Cute Face… how could you just walk out on me like that? How am I going to feed these babies of yours?) But no matter how much (or not) bloggers value their comments, one thing is almost unanimous; no one likes it when comments make it evident that their author didn’t bother to read the post.

Which brings us nicely back to the issue under discussion this evening. NBS TV.

Pastor Reverend Dr Grace DL Kityo, “a humble, seasoned and anointed Minister of the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ” according to his website, www.kityo.org, visited, and left a comment below the NBS Pongo post.

 (Click to view the whole thing if you have time)Dr Grace Kityo leaves a comment

Pongo, if you are reading this, please get in touch with Dr Grace.



  1. I love the way you built up the story (sorry, ‘post’) – for the life of me could not have, on my best day, predicted the ending. Yes, i think you have every reason to be ‘upset’ with Dr Grace’s attempt to…..um, give you a new identity….NBS no less!
    LOL @ ‘ready to have Victoria’s kids’

  2. Okay! ‘…wonderful, grand celebrations NEWS item…’ I can’t imagine just how this sentence is supposed to end. Lemme go check. BRB.

  3. oba it is ‘please send the information whereby your faithful and loyal staff at NBS Ernest Bazanye of wordpress.com wrote a wonderful, grand celebrations NEWS item on the nth graduation ceremony of Makerere University.’

    Ok, I know. This is not English. Whereby…

  4. It should read ‘Should you need more details – I will be on +44 123456 mobile telephone number MO-ME-NTA-RIRY.

    African King, now that is English.

  5. What? I Victoria suggesting that Baz left Kireka? Kireka’s number one citizen no longer resides in Kireka? Which neighborhood lured you away?

    Meanwhile that pastor is DENSE. What was he trying to say? And why comment on a 5 month post? Who is gonna read that?

    Then again, he is smart. I bet he thought, “How do I trick Bazanye into writing a blog post about me?”

  6. Joshi, the Ebonies know english: ‘extricative conondrum’. ‘Illustrious abomination’. What about. English doesn’t get any sweeter than that.

    Magoola read Bad Idea of Sunday 3rd Feb

    Yeah Baz, you got cuckolded into publicizing the good Dr. Rev. Kityo’s ministry for free. Ha!

  7. are we in line for baz’s babies? i’ll be number 35. after all your admirers. and your actual wife with whom you’ll have legitimate kids.

  8. Howdy, guess whos swimming her way up here,pity i dont even know what to say about this post.Babies??ok i have been away long now i know for sure

  9. I though everyone was going to blast Baz for his shameless blog title thingy up there. I thought everyone was going to say “kyoka you ka man you thought we didn’t know, but we know” and give him the evil eye.

    However, if we are lining up for Baz Babies, can I say I have firsties there? I saw him first. I bite, I scratch and I even pour acid. Back of Jasmine, Soulchild, Carlo! Grrr!

  10. All y’all must remember that I am the chosen one. Whose babies he wants to have. Meanwhile you are all struggling to have his babies. I know. Life is so unfair (smug little smile)

    Tum, there’s nothing wrong with a man fantasizing. The only objection I have is putting Straka in the same sentence with Juliana et al. Talk about Beauties and the Beast

  11. I thought i was just going to sit here and snob the post but things are getting tight in babyville. I just can’t sit here and do nothing….After all that’s been said, Baz, please don’t forget to feed OUR kids!!!! You know how i be!!!

  12. Baz me thinks we shud take this to the next level, let’s market your soldiers seeing as they are on demand..100K for a tea-spoon..get in line now, once you spill no refunds are given..plus they come with their own tea-spoons!!

  13. @Joshi, Eihh? You’re good.

    But let’s get things back into perspective. It’s Baz who wants to have the kids. Victoria’s kids. After that, the rest can have the balance for free, ‘long as they don’t be asking him to feed the totos.

  14. @Minty in that case seeing as Baz wants to have kids..then..umm..change of strategy..All those who want Baz to have their kids must register with me first..registeration fee is 300K naturally, also depending on the size of the baby..those who are naturally big boned will have to fork out 450K..as always it is non refundable.

    2.Seeing as most of the year my client will be in a state of altered tummy construction, we shall gladly take the royal suite at a modest time limit of the last 6 months towards the target date. Full room service

    3.Also some coutoure clothing, and tht doesnt include Sylvia Owori

    4.The new macbook air..2 actually, one grey the other gun metal

    5.2 Pairs of Air Jordan sneakers(size 10 and the other in Baz’s size)

    6.The amazon kindle

    Any questions, see Baz

  15. y’all

    Baz moved into my ‘hood, just last sunday he came over to boro my sunday vision – den stayed 4 breakfast, lunch n tea with breaks in between 4 roast gnuts, ffene and popcorn.

    so whoever wants him to have ur babies, afta y’all pay up 2 Joshi, come on over n i’ll take ya to the one room in chateau Baz dats got a mattress. with sheets. which be as if a matching pair. dat’ll be an xtra 50k. cash plz

  16. Karitas, Straka, Juliana, me
    menage a quartre

    Beyonce! dude plz! weak chick just
    have u seen Carlo (n her child bearing hips) lately?
    hw abt my last pin-up gal, Tumwi?

  17. Eeeeeh Baz, what! is it like you are some desperate kinda guy or what? You wanna have a baby with a virtual victoria ( or should i say e-victoria?)??? unless of course you are talking about an e-baby. Then you put names like Straka and the likes to attract peoples, attention, jeez. Havent you heard names like Danay Garcia (I think she is the cutest in the world) and the like?
    Try to measure up when it comes to tatse for the opposite sex. Otherwise this is a very nice blog. keep posting.

  18. karitas, pipa/drum i mean straka and beyonce in one sentence? dude that’s not righteous. in fact it’s an abomination. karitas is heven, the drum is diabolical and beyonce is a Zulu if her dances are anything to go by.

  19. idont know what iam doing on this sit,iwas actually looking for nbs tv.iwanted to give em my opinion but uguys jus got,is it for bazanye nway…

  20. While you are at it fighting for Baz’z it, remember he is short. I didnt check though so dont ask me how I know, I just saw him on Record TV. BTW dude you gat game, even Tumwi is in the line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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