What is this, Christmas?

I’ve been dying to get one of these for ages, and now one just plops into my inbox. I feel like Tom in that top secret never-released finale episode where he finally catches Jerry.

Okay. The basics: I got an email from someone whose name I will not disclose (for the mutual security of  “our both families” and also because I don’t want dude googling his way to this blog). I will give him a codename, I think.

I will call him Maina 41naina.

Subject: accept my sincere apologies, thanks
How are you and your family I hope fine? Do accept my sincere apologies if my mail does not meet your personal ethics.

Enough of this gay banter. Who are you?

By introduction, I am, a branch manager in one of a reputable financial institution here in Ouagadougou Burkina Faso “Bank of Africa”.

Pleasure. Now please tell me why we are here.

I would love to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this business proposal. Listen,

I’m listening.

a generous customer of this bank died on March 11th 2004 at Madrid train attack, this decease left Sun of Eight Million Five Hundred thousand United State Dollars ($8.5)



Well, if I was sceptical at first, if I t hought it was, perhaps one of those scams I had heard so much about, this, a bbc news link, sets my mind at ease.

I Hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families.

I am intrugued…

proceed lolcat

I need your urgent assistance in transferring this above mentioned sum into your bank account or you come here in this bank for cash paying into your hands. I don’t want the money to go into our Bank treasury as an abandoned fund. Since our bank could not locate any of his nearest person to inherit this money. So this is the reason why I contacted you, so that with me giving you all his information we can release the money to you as the nearest person to the deceased customer.

Sounds like a plan, actually…

Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete if you are not interested. Upon receipt of your reply, I will send you full details on how the business will be executed.

Stay Blessed.
Yours sincerely,
Mr Maina 42naina.

I guess there is only one thing to do now. Delete the email.
Hah hah! Yeah right.

I am going to reply tonight even.

I like the philosophical ring “By introduction I am” has. Think about it. My name is my essence. My identity, my very being as a person, is expressed in who I say that I am.  So manifest identity is not a superficial aspect of the man, it is fundamental. Whoa. Deep. 

24 thoughts on “What is this, Christmas?

  1. “So manifest identity is not a superficial aspect of the man, it is fundamental. Whoa. Deep. ” – kale you can kwelaga.

    To get firsties is not a superficial aspect of the man, it’s a product of being prompt, intuitive and having a fast broadband connection. It is my human right and it’s fundamental. Gosh. Deeep.

  2. hehehehe!! kindly hand him your bank details, make sure that the account is empty fist and close it down at conclusion of the transaction, what is his cut of the profits anyhow?

    and i swear i was first!!!

  3. Deep indeed! Reply and tomorrow you will have three such emails. One from Yahoo, one from hotmail and one from the UK lottery. I replied once, down to the point of submitting bank details and now 50% of my inbox tells me I am rich!

    But first ask him why the manager of such a big bank doesn’t know english – even the subtleties of introductions?!

  4. Magoola, being first also entails an element of fundamental idleness that manifests in the perpetual assurance of one’s primary attendance on the blog – deeeeepest!

  5. Nathan, everything begins as a firstie. A lot of the things we call firsties are not firsties at all. Many times when we say ‘firsties’ it simply means that we seized the opportunity to comment fast and declared it a firstie.

  6. Lol @Victoria and Peace… Magoo, waiting on yo retaliation.

    Now Mr. Bazanye…aside from the Bank of Africa Manager’s problems, was readin some website(lost the link) that mentioned Lolcats as one of the 10 internet funny somethings…(lost the entire point).

    And in the respect of making “your both families” rich, just hand over yo bank details and then wait for the law to catch up with u. It’s called FRAUD!!! Serious Lolling.

  7. This is the first post I’ve seen in “all my days” as a blogger with very long comments.

    Comments here have grown paragraphs long. May I also note that they have some very serious vocabulary. PERPETUAL. INTUITIVE, FRAUD, SUBTLETIES, SUPERFICIAL, DEEPEST-EST AND FIRSTIES.

    I had to make this rubbish comment more than a paragraph long.

    With this, I now sign out from here.

  8. LOL!!!! You’re all insane!
    Magoola – kindly translate ‘kwelaga’….the transalation that comes to my head is the kiswahili word ‘Kwenda’ ……which fits anyway so i guess that fine.
    Baz – where are the Moli pics?

  9. Baz,
    indulge this dude, er Mr.42…
    he could be legit…

    Fundamental Drama indeed…

    Having a broadband internet connection


    But there does seem to be a huge element of fundamental idleness…

    U actually replied that email…
    so how much are you worth in Cyberspace??

    Mbu serious Lolling!!


    You actually need Moli’s pics…

  10. first off, i love this whole retired thingie with as if a ka-stomach template.(i must be the last one to say this). tot’lly hat!!

    kale you are going to have a better xmas than most of us!how come no one ever contacts me for free money…or any free thing?!
    am your tight when that money comes through!

  11. I hear fundamental idleness. Victoria, you say that like it’s a bad thing.

    It takes a special kind of person to get firsties without even trying. And I am not gonna say I am special, everybody already says that about me. This boy just can’t help himself.It’s in my blood. Ya’ll should be relating.

    Now I know better, I will be sure to save some for ya’ll. In the spirit of the Holiday season.

    @peace-you can Kwelaga loosely translates to “you can show yourself”
    If you are saying “kwenda” which I understand as go, then I am go assume you are telling me You go Boy!!! Thanks, the love is appreciated.

  12. The next time any of you decide you want to audition for the Big Brother Africa show, remember two things: Maureen Namatovu and YouTube.

    Then think again.

    Alternatively, ask Paris Hilton what it’s like.

  13. As one of the lasties, I will say in no fancy terms that it takes a certain business and fulfillment at one’s day job climbing the corporate ladder to not go checking every five minutes whether there’s another post to put firsties to.
    Plus a slow internet connection, obviously, which posts comments four minutes after…sheesh.

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