What is this, Christmas?

I’ve been dying to get one of these for ages, and now one just plops into my inbox. I feel like Tom in that top secret never-released finale episode where he finally catches Jerry.

Okay. The basics: I got an email from someone whose name I will not disclose (for the mutual security of  “our both families” and also because I don’t want dude googling his way to this blog). I will give him a codename, I think.

I will call him Maina 41naina.

Subject: accept my sincere apologies, thanks
How are you and your family I hope fine? Do accept my sincere apologies if my mail does not meet your personal ethics.

Enough of this gay banter. Who are you?

By introduction, I am, a branch manager in one of a reputable financial institution here in Ouagadougou Burkina Faso “Bank of Africa”.

Pleasure. Now please tell me why we are here.

I would love to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this business proposal. Listen,

I’m listening.

a generous customer of this bank died on March 11th 2004 at Madrid train attack, this decease left Sun of Eight Million Five Hundred thousand United State Dollars ($8.5)



Well, if I was sceptical at first, if I t hought it was, perhaps one of those scams I had heard so much about, this, a bbc news link, sets my mind at ease.

I Hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families.

I am intrugued…

proceed lolcat

I need your urgent assistance in transferring this above mentioned sum into your bank account or you come here in this bank for cash paying into your hands. I don’t want the money to go into our Bank treasury as an abandoned fund. Since our bank could not locate any of his nearest person to inherit this money. So this is the reason why I contacted you, so that with me giving you all his information we can release the money to you as the nearest person to the deceased customer.

Sounds like a plan, actually…

Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete if you are not interested. Upon receipt of your reply, I will send you full details on how the business will be executed.

Stay Blessed.
Yours sincerely,
Mr Maina 42naina.

I guess there is only one thing to do now. Delete the email.
Hah hah! Yeah right.

I am going to reply tonight even.

I like the philosophical ring “By introduction I am” has. Think about it. My name is my essence. My identity, my very being as a person, is expressed in who I say that I am.  So manifest identity is not a superficial aspect of the man, it is fundamental. Whoa. Deep. 

In defense of my friend Moli

You may have seen the scandalous photographs of Maureen and Code that have been going around the email circuit. If you have been living in a cave, let me fill you in: the email shows the two cavorting in a fashion that looks suspiciously sexual. They are both naked in passionate embraces and “the codebreaker” can be seen. It is in alert mode.
Yes, I took a brief glance when I saw them, but that’s all. A brief glance. Moli never really did it for me, you know. Sue me, but she didn’t. I just saw the email, and after raising an eyebrow, moved on to the next email. I am a busy man. What about. Anyway…

This has led to speculation that Moli was lying when she told us that during her stay in the house she always conducted herself like a perfect lady. Some have taken the Hiltonesque nature of the photos as evidence to the contrary.


Well, let her set the record straight. She Did Not Have Sex With That Man.

In fact she invites you to look closely at the pictures. Look closely, she says, and you will see.