People who climb onto the toilet seat and squat when they, well, cop a squat. For some reason, the penal code is silent on this. Is it an oversight on the part of our lawmakers? Why isn’t this act forbidden by law? Why can’t we have perpetrators of this vile act arrested, abused, and then, following conviction, hanged until they are dead? They put footprints on the toilet seat! Officer, do something about this.

Also, people who are still chewing the same toothpick hours after and miles away from their last meal. We should find them and squat on their toilet seats as punishment.

And finally, people who do that scratching the palm thing to chicks you introduce them to. Matter of fact, anyone who acts like a jerk to chicks I introduce them to. That’s why I don’t hang out with you any more, man, Cos you embarass me. I mean. Sheesh! You be there scratching her palm. That reflects on me, you know. Even though I am sweet and there can be no arguing against that, my reputation still gets tarnished because I am now a a sweet guy who hangs out with jerks.
You know what? Next time I’ll remember to only holler at you when I’m hanging out with hookers. Then you can do your sleazy fingerscratch all you want. They won’t stop you.

They will just bill you for it after. Muahaha. Pay up.

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