(I think fashion designers are just trying to see how much they can get away with- Ellen Degeneres)

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This outfit by Anna Ling, the famous Singapore-born designer was part of her Spring fashion show in Milan this year. Note the playful use of symmetrical patterns laid out on flowing fabric to create that casual look. The outfit was inspired by when a household pet eats a tablecloth and then vomits it on the carpet. You get a shapeless puddle with a whole lot of crazy colours in it. As you can see, the model is not amused.

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This outfit, also by Anna Ling, and also exhibited at her spring fashion show in Milan, is sported by a less angry model. The reason this model isn’t as royally pissed off as her colleague is that she is not in her right mind. You see, she couldn’t decide which would bring her more distress: the fact that she is wearing the leather upholstery off Anna Ling’s Buick convertible as a skirt, or the fact that she is wearing Anna Ling’s pet cat Mister Chweetie as as hat. So, to handle the confusion, she swallowed a cupful of tranquilising drugs. She’s feeling quite peaceful now.

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The third Anna Ling outfit we have today is this one. The model marches on stoically, unperterbed by the fact that after starving herself so that her waist achieves the diameter of a bottle of sprite, she was hired to wear a smock that makes her look like she is pregnant with twin cows. Does my bum look big in this? She asked the make up person backstage. No, you look all amorphous and shapeless, I can’t tell which part is the bum, but it all looks big, he replied. Only, being gay, he replied in French,which the model did not understand.

Yeah. From the first Uptowner. We will be back.

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