A journey of a thousand miles

Nobody ever got rich just sitting on their ass. This is a fact of science. We all need to exploit the talents we have; we need to employ them in a focussed effort to break the yoke of poverty. I learnt that on Friday reading a self-help book.

This book also brought to light another interesting fact of success: No one can make it on their own. Teamwork and cooperation and partnership are vital elements of success.

That is why I spent Saturday convening the Ugandan League of Supervillains.

That is the most fiendish, wicked, sneaky, cunning criminal minds in the land (who are not currently employed in public service or government).

We met at My Chuchi, the bar in Kabalagala, for our inagural meeting, where we signed a treaty of loyalty, each with a drop of blood, and swore to pursue our purpose to the end– mischief, mayhem, and the we. Will rule. Ze world. Muahahaha.

Because we cannot use our real names, we agreed to adopt cool supervillain codenames for ourself. So our roster reads:

  •  
    • Rogue Trooper
    • Dr Despicable
    • Colonel RightHook
    • Valley Damn
    • Ivan Musoke

Amongst us we have a weapons expert, a strategy expert, a technical wizard, a hypnotist, a pimp, a fixer and a ninja.  There is one element missing, though: we have no money.

“Why would we have to form a criminal gang if we already had money? The whole purpose of theft is to get money you don’t have,” snorted Valley.

“Relax, dawg. I am cunning. I have a plan,” I said.

 We have to get a bankroller. We need a lex Luthor. And I know just the place to get one…
I believe firmly in the presumption of innocence. I believe that even if the police bursts into the building and finds a man with his entire shirt front splattered with blood, and he is holding a monogrammed machete stained in red, and he is panting heavily, and he is standing over a body which gastps “you killed me, you bastard!” with its final breath, and he snarls, “Yeah. So? And you do what” at the body as it lapses into death, that man should still be considered innocent until convicted following due process.

That said, we now turn to
Danny Ocean and Rusty Ryan

Innocent until proved otherwise of course, but what if, what IF the bastards have the money?

(I said if to stay within safe parameters and legally insulate myself.)

But there is an opportunity here.

The band of villains just finalised a plan. To kidnap/rescue them.
If they have the money, sweet. If they don’t, we will demand a ransom from whoever does.

30 thoughts on “A journey of a thousand miles

  1. Okay, okay, first FIRST … let me breathe ko. I was slowly dying out of fear that your blog was morphing into Pep Talk Central.

    Second … the band will never work because you don’t have a woman. Remember Female Supervillains – Poison Ivy, Asbestos Lady, Lady Deathstrike, Medusa and Phantazia? I name myself, MisAndry, the six member of the team because I am irresistably sexy and I kick theoretical ass. Send the tee.

  2. Haha, Tumwi wants in…even Donald Semambo wants in..what is havoc in k’la without kiboko? im diggin the new digs…

  3. What the hell?… did I just quote someone back there… Mark My Words Baz, I will not take this lying dow… ah forget it, just watch this space

  4. I had to go back and edit. I had for some dumb reason, posted too much of the same thing. Thanks Tandra.

    Aegeus, I am too lazy to do any more to the template now. Work with me.

    Tumwi, what makes you think they are all men? Valley Damn is a woman. And welcome, MisAndry. You can pay the reg. fee at Nile Bank. (MisAndry. I am scared already.)

    Joshi, good to see that you have turned to the dark side. Let us fight this justice.

    Soki, muahahaha.

  5. So you’re looking at Susan and Gladys, the only people who’d pay to have them back. Both are very rich, so no problems there.

  6. the codes are incomplete without ‘priest’. he says the prayers a second before the mission. and whatever u’re feeding on, baz, i don’t want.

  7. Oh no no no!!!! U guys have taken a very innocent question and turned it into some soap opera…and we now have a name…Cherivan????

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s