Bertha, I understand, left the house.

I am not that BBA-savvy. I don’t have a lot of time to watch the show. I just get to hear bits and pieces.

I do know that there is a sleazy Tanzanian who has spent the entire duration of his stay trying to commit adultery with what looks like a set of five broomsticks tied together with bikini-fabric.

Then there is a Ghanaian, Patrick Quarcoo, a former radio station executive.

There is Moli, my former cousin, who has set up a home in the Big Brother house with a nice young man who doesn’t have a name but is known, instead, by a code.

There was a Kenyan possessed by evil spirits and a pair of large breasts but those were evicted. That is the sum of my BBA knowledge.

So when I heard that Bertha was out, I needed to ask, “Which one is that?”

“The bitchy one.”

“Which one is that?”

“The one from Zimbabwe.”

“Which one is that?”

When I saw this news story, I had to call my BBA correspondent. “Bertha from Zimbabwe: Put her back in,” I said.

According to AHN News
“Despite the fact that the price of beer has skyrocketed over 100 percent to $280,000 from $70,000 a pint, Zimbabwe’s inflation rate nevertheless registered a slowdown to 6,592 percent in August;”

Imagine she wins, takes the prize money, goes back home and…

         …all she can do is buy a doughnut.

That would be fun.

Advertisements

24 Comments

  1. I hear she was a terrible, terrible woman.

    I don’t watch BB either, of course, too busy brushing up on my Nietzsche and Proust to watch something that low brow.

    But I hear the cow just had to go. And I hear that several people went out and celebrated her eviction.

    Kweku is next.

    Or so I hear.

  2. indeed who watches such low rent trash? i also understand that the tanzanian housemate is now regretful of his actions…or so he says…i was informed that he backslid and is now indulging abundantly in canoodling with said set of broomsticks and slid his lecherous hands under the bikini, severally…there is more on the grapevine but i shall let the fans share the juicy tidbits…since to attempt an expose here shall be misconstrued as muthii fulani attempting to overshadow your eminent post….tihihiii!! i understand that the house is more boring now since the pair of breasts’ lease was terminated resulting in her eviction. your former cousin, i am told, has taken to entertaining herself by hopping around her room quite nude with reckless abandon…attracting thoughts to the levels of sanity or lack thereof. 😀

  3. “a set of five broomsticks tied together with bikini-fabric.” Stellar

    A beer costs $280,000 in Zim??? What??? Jesus, this is insane!!!!
    But Baz, that is in Zim dollars. Their dime is like a quater of a cent of our silly currency…see, we’re somewhere…and then u go sayin Sevo done nothing?

    Moli is now yo former cousin?

  4. Now that $280,000 for beer, did they mean a bottle of beer costs $280,000, or the cost of all the beer in the brewery???? This is too much for me…

    Hurray to Mugabe.

  5. You’re evil! Moli is still a member of the family…we may have doubts abt how much gifted by nature she is in some departments but still…she part of the family…

  6. Heh. The only good thing is that … I now know I am not the only one missing out on BBA. ‘Cause it should be good, if it ends up scrawled all over my t-shirt, even when me no like.

  7. what looks like a set of five broomsticks tied together with bikini-fabric…..that’s a classic

    I understand your cousin has blond chromosomes. I watched the thing till the pair of big breasts was evicted very early in the show. Voyeurish I must say!!

  8. Gwe Baz, why does your cousin move around all day, all week with a hot water bottle? Does she know it’s purpose?

  9. Well, I have big brother right here at office.I keep hearing that cousin of urs saying blah blah and walk to the screen occassionally to see them make fools of themselves and gossip.

  10. I am under strict instructions not to read your blog again. I broke my last rib today and my doc is not too happy about it!

    ‘…a set of five broomsticks tied together with bikini-fabric.”

    ‘…nice young man who doesn’t have a name but is known, instead, by a code.’

    Ha ha ha hahaaaaaaaaaa

  11. I know 4 guys who sit to watch BBA, 4 guys.

    1 is a Rev. Father,
    2 is a scribe,
    3 is a policeman and
    4 is unemployed.

    See, they are master’s students. The Rev Father stays around to show his colleagues what a disgrace Maureen has become, showing her nakedness like that. The scribe is looking for a new angle on love and relationships, while the policeman is watching the jobless guy.

  12. 5 brooms sticks tied together by bikini fabric. is motivation to gain weight if anyone needs some.
    You can just tell yourself, I am going to eat two slices of cheese cake because i don’t want to look like 5 broomsticks…

  13. one of the BBA Reviewers one sunday said: “i don’t feel sorry for Lerato. i leave that to the bathtub that has to support her weight.”….or something close to that.

    now 5 broomsticks?!…i have ha’had you people!

  14. Question: If Tatiana is 5 broomsticks, what will Maureen be? 2 naked ones? Or just 1?

    Didn’t Tatiana look like a witch in the picture in some paper this week? She spooked me

  15. LOL!!!!!! @ 5 broomsticks and Bertha being able to only afford a dnought after 98 days in the BBA house! AND, please, tell your cousin Moli ‘enough already!’ with the nakedness!!! *smh*

  16. i welcome myself back to baz’s world…

    sorry no love for BBAII but if she won ati she can only buy a doughnut…nice! but really what would she buy?

    oh yeah, aside/ps/whatever, i read your “worst ideas”…i loved it! si you give me your full, er, novelogy (sic) if you have one.

  17. so much for all you otha africans and yoou sleezy comments,tho you may wana hate on the price of a beer we def can speak way beta than all yall…….funny thing too is we can still afford to get high everyday.

  18. If you catch me watching the damn show again, please arrest me to save me from the embarassment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s