I got my African Woman review. (Ref: Bitching about not getting my African Woman review)  My very first book review. I feel so…

…I feel so violated, so dirty, so exposed, so ruined for all women.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the review. They said my book was funny. I am grateful that they managed to come to this conclusion. I know they had to overcome great obstacles to reach it, obstacles like the reviewer not knowing what this things called jokes look like, but I am glad that they got there, though, and am proud of them.

The Reviewer (who also said the book was funny, which I appreciate that) said it was marred by inaccuracies borne from such ignorance as this: That I Hear I don’t know what Dolce and Gabana is.

Have I ever told you my Dolce and Gabana joke? It is hilarious. It will kill you, absolutely slay you, completely wreck genocide within the precincts. Har har chortle snigger and guffaw as I descend into that thing where a guy laughs at his own joke before he even tells it.

Here is the joke.

World’s Funniest Joke

No, that wasn’t actually, the joke, that was just extra.

That I hear: “Tell me ze yoke!” Chuckle and guffaw.

Hem-hem!! This is the joke:

“Look at that very fashionable man. He loves the heavily-advertised fashion labels and is always wearing brand name clothing. He is often clad in Dolce, or Gabana. Occasionally even both.”

That is my Dolce and Gabana joke.

(Silence. Sound of pins dropping as far away as Brazzaville)

Geddit? Geddit?

(Sound of pins dropping in Lisbon)

Okay, I may have oversold it a bit. Maybe it isn’t that funny after all. Maybe it is actually a very poor joke.

Maybe the reviewer, on encountering this monstrosity, thought to herself, “What a dreadful joke. He can’t be serious, ironically. No, there is no way any sane, rational, intelligent human being with opposable thumbs can come up with a joke so awful. It is more likely that he does not know what he is talking about. Evidently this man is completely clueless about Dolces and Gabanas. I would rather believe that he is ignorant and/or negligent than believe that he is stupid.”

And the review that issued forth, consequently, issued forth.

Ah. Now it all becomes clear.