On the journey home I invented a clever new literary device that will make metaphor blockage, which struck me during my last post, a thing of the past.

It is called the pre-metaphoriser/ similiser. It is where you gather random and arbitrary images and shape them as metaphors/similies first, then, after that, you look for subjects to attach them to.

Here are a few that I collected last night.

…As a used pamper discarded by a roadside.

…As a hooker’s discount

…As the so-called plot twist at the end of a predictable Ebonies play.

…As a baby rat.

…As Maureen, Jeff Anthony and Bayo (from the first one) somehow having a child together and this child somehow getting his hands on a vial of cyanide and the recipe for  that divine chocolate cake they sell at New York Kitchen Garden City.

… as the reversal of inflationary forces through the application of post-socialist de-market principles in an artis menus paradigm.

Try them out with the subject of your choice. Or let me supply one. Start with “Bebe Cool is as dumb as…” and attach my pre-similies.

See? All of them fit!

I am the genius I always suspected myself to be. Clap for me, children.

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