From small things (big things one day come)

On the journey home I invented a clever new literary device that will make metaphor blockage, which struck me during my last post, a thing of the past.

It is called the pre-metaphoriser/ similiser. It is where you gather random and arbitrary images and shape them as metaphors/similies first, then, after that, you look for subjects to attach them to.

Here are a few that I collected last night.

…As a used pamper discarded by a roadside.

…As a hooker’s discount

…As the so-called plot twist at the end of a predictable Ebonies play.

…As a baby rat.

…As Maureen, Jeff Anthony and Bayo (from the first one) somehow having a child together and this child somehow getting his hands on a vial of cyanide and the recipe for  that divine chocolate cake they sell at New York Kitchen Garden City.

… as the reversal of inflationary forces through the application of post-socialist de-market principles in an artis menus paradigm.

Try them out with the subject of your choice. Or let me supply one. Start with “Bebe Cool is as dumb as…” and attach my pre-similies.

See? All of them fit!

I am the genius I always suspected myself to be. Clap for me, children.

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17 Comments

  1. Seeing Fuj paying good money mbu for internet access is as impossible as the reversal of inflationary forces through the application of post-socialist de-market principles in an artis menus paradigm.

    Baz’s shot at winning the BBA 3 Ugandan slot is about as likely as a hooker’s discount.

    27th’s frigger is as crazy-cute as a baby rat.

    Bebe Cool is as dumb as the so-called plot twist at the end of a predictable Ebonies play. (No contest here.)

    Trying to drive by the book on Ugandan roads, excuse me, Ugandan soil, makes as much sense as Maureen, Jeff Anthony and Bayo (from the first one) somehow having a child together and this child somehow getting his hands on a vial of cyanide and the recipe for that divine chocolate cake they sell at New York Kitchen Garden City.

    Ugandan men spitting through taxi windows or peeing in full view by the roadside is as commonplace as a used pamper discarded by the roadside.

    Teacher, give me my marks and I go. They have come for me.

  2. … as dumb as Bebe Cool.

    It’s Friday night and I am a little low on insultpiration, but I couldn’t think of anything more appropriate.

    Clap, clap, whistle, whistle by the way.

  3. Bebe Cool can’t be as dumb as….it’s the other way round. The used pamper has more character and personality…..

    I’m back. Well, not really….

    U guys, get online. Is it just me in cyber space????

    Otherwise, feeling ire??

  4. as jigger that has emerged from a foot for a breath of fresh air then suddenly realises that its forgotten the way back home and thus asks for directions…or something

  5. Cheri, you don’t know what hardships I face with this keyboard. I want to burn it down!! or to “kube” it…or set it on Fire..or something

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