Ginko Baloba is a herb extract that is reputed to improve mental concentration.

Apparently by aiding the flow of oxygen to the brain.

If its reputation is justified then a couple of pills of this stuff will transform me, already a bad-ass subediting machine, into an unstoppable superbad-ass subediting machine.

I am pretty good at my job, but I tend to have several things demanding my attention at any one time, so sometimes I find it hard to concentrate. Halfway through each sentence someone is going to holler wanting something else from me; it’s like a conspiracy. Answer the phone! Gimme feedback on this now! Scan this picture! Place this advert! Answer the phone again! Tell me how this word is spelt! Answer the phone! Find a photographer! Let’s bang kaboozi! Answer the phone!

So I decided to try the Ginkgo Biloba. It was just one day, but it seemed to work. The all-too-familiar sensation of my head being shredded by time wasn’t as pronounced, the world moved around me in less of a mad swirl and, although I had to leave the room to do it, I even managed to write a movie review in ten minutes.

And I never take less than an hour to write anything. Not even to blog.

I was quite pleased with the results of Ginkgo Biloba and at nine thirty in the night, when the paper was finally done, I announced my pleasure to my colleagues. I said, “You guys don’t know but I have been using performance-enhancing substances.”

My brothers in arms rallied together as soon as they heard this.

“Which one? Viagra?”

“You mean all along you had a problem?”

 “Gwe, those bedroom things they don’t discuss in office.”

Everyone’s a comedian.