Har. Har. Har. Very. Funny.

Ginko Baloba is a herb extract that is reputed to improve mental concentration.

Apparently by aiding the flow of oxygen to the brain.

If its reputation is justified then a couple of pills of this stuff will transform me, already a bad-ass subediting machine, into an unstoppable superbad-ass subediting machine.

I am pretty good at my job, but I tend to have several things demanding my attention at any one time, so sometimes I find it hard to concentrate. Halfway through each sentence someone is going to holler wanting something else from me; it’s like a conspiracy. Answer the phone! Gimme feedback on this now! Scan this picture! Place this advert! Answer the phone again! Tell me how this word is spelt! Answer the phone! Find a photographer! Let’s bang kaboozi! Answer the phone!

So I decided to try the Ginkgo Biloba. It was just one day, but it seemed to work. The all-too-familiar sensation of my head being shredded by time wasn’t as pronounced, the world moved around me in less of a mad swirl and, although I had to leave the room to do it, I even managed to write a movie review in ten minutes.

And I never take less than an hour to write anything. Not even to blog.

I was quite pleased with the results of Ginkgo Biloba and at nine thirty in the night, when the paper was finally done, I announced my pleasure to my colleagues. I said, “You guys don’t know but I have been using performance-enhancing substances.”

My brothers in arms rallied together as soon as they heard this.

“Which one? Viagra?”

“You mean all along you had a problem?”

 “Gwe, those bedroom things they don’t discuss in office.”

Everyone’s a comedian.

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19 Comments

  1. Yay! I get firsties! For the first time in my life I am not sniffing someone’s bum at the bottom of the pack. Yay!

    So … what I really wanted to say is …

    I always knew you were a junkie. Something had to explain your state of mind 😉

  2. Ya’ll that’s my firsties by the way. I wonder why this thing made me anonymous.One year later I am still kicking firsties ass. I am unstoppable.

    Naye that name Gingko Biloba. It’s hard to shake the feeling it’s some concoction by Mutulakungo.

    Where does on find this Gingko Biloba?

  3. Hoo-fuckin’-hoo!

    The name sounds like a voodoo-inspired contraption’s! Ginko Baloba? Can’t be legal. Now that’s what the fuck has been inspiring them posts! Ivan did some shit too, some time … 😀

    And, no! Magoo, that was me on the firsties … except if you can prove otherwise … 😉 Problem with Anonymous.

  4. Baz, even after a dose of the Dinkgo, u still remain a mean sub-editing machine???? What hapnd to getting to Senior editor bit…

    Yeah, true, there is a comedian in everyone.

    Ditto Magoo, that name…. I doubt it’s authenticity. Even if BBC is endorsing it, nedda Ssebo.

    Magoo, no way in hell are they yo firsties, they belong to me….that person said first time!!! and u know u’re the King.
    Tell another.

  5. The problem with performance enhacement drugs, janga, whatever u may call them, is that they are fun until your are dug out of your hole. Imagine a guy using Viagra for all his marriage life, the day she discovers, she will look for a better dude like Baz. Please don’t try to edit this Editor!

  6. magoola – you’ve heard of liars going to the hottest place in hell. damn firsties stealer!

    thought i’d be special this time. apparently not. wordpress thinks i am ‘anonymous’. i am going to go slash my wrists.

  7. from what you have described am starting to think that you might be a receptionist after all(not that its a bad thing anyway). atte answering the phone afuuse answering the phone!

  8. ginkgo biloba has nothing on M150.
    @ Ivan: you “know this dude”, haha. isnt that wat people say when it was actually them in the story??

  9. nothin new under the sun. even if want herbs to give u okwonko’s bushy eyebrows, u’ll get them on ugandan fertile soil!!

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