Your host for this evening…

Television hosting in Uganda has come a long way, but we are not at the end of our journey yet. Let us not rest on our laurels. We have seen the promised land, but we still have a long way to go to get there.

TV hosting industry, we commend you on getting the look right. The clothes, the hair and the complexion? Perfect.

We commend you on getting the mannerisms—the cocking of the head, the clasping of the hands, the smile.

We are glad that you learnt about using italics. Spoken italics are useful in modern tv show hosting.

Now all you dwanzis need to learn is English.


(With exceptions of course. Yata, Irene & Abbey, Tina and the others who don’t suck.)



  1. And they have to scrap the ridiculous accents. That have them mis pronouncing “letters” and “callers”. I mean ‘Laters’ and ‘cowlers’

  2. Linguistics (and some Anthropology) 101:

    People who live in Sierra Leone speak Creole. Creole = English. Sort of.
    This is how they greet in Creole:

    He say: How di bodi?
    She say: Bodi fine

    Creole is the new English. Someone should alert the folks over there at “pptv”. That by the way was funi, sorry, funny eddslah.

  3. Eddslah, nice to see you blogging. I won’t even stunt on you about the free-ass decoder I got.
    That’s right. FREE.

    @Fujitsu, are you saying Humby Kay of Record TV is actually speaking Creole, not killing mbogos?

    By the way, if you have never watched Humby Kay, don’t.

    (How di bodi. I am going to be saying that all weekend!)

  4. Too late Baz. Already watched Humby Kay and then I killed myself.

    By the by, saying ‘killing mbogos’ is killing mbogos.

  5. Fuji, please visit a church and get resurrected. We prefer you alive. Come back.

    “Killing buffalos”?

    Phantom, now I have to kill the post. I had forgotten the vernacular TV guys. Do you like Desire Luzinda?

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