Maybe this is why I have writer’s block

Circadian rhythm, as everybody knows, is the biomedical term for the body clock: that thing inside your brain that responds to your daily habits and schedules, accordingly, what time to release sleep hormones and what time to withhold them and release wakefulness hormones instead.
Some people have a circadian rhythm that makes them sleepy at night and wakeful in the morning. The biomedical term for such people is Normal.

Some people have a circadian rhythm that makes them sleepy in the day and wakeful at night. The biomedical term for these people is deejays.

No, watchmen sleep all day AND all night. As everybody knows.

My own circadian rhythm is— to put is as succinctly and precisely as I can — all fucked up. It is so irregular and unreliable that I have resorted to the vastest generalisation when describing it. I say, “I don’t sleep” when I am asked.
Going to sleep is not the simple, easy, process of slowly winding down and shutting off. You people fall asleep. I dig my way into sleep. It is a struggle that comes with effort and exertion.

I can’t even begin to describe it. Imagine being told to lie still. But instead of your arms falling limp by your side, you find them flexing, hard and tight, by your side.
That is what my brain seems to do.

I tried everything. Including the thing you are going to suggest and, though it does relax me, it also just makes me more wakeful.

Going face.

But at least there are the drugs. At least those get me through the night.

Yes, I found out where I can score valium. It isn’t supposed to be sold without a prescription, and I know this makes me a drug abuser, but what do you want me to do? If I don’t sleep through the night, then the circadian rhythm will decide to start shutting me down at three in the afternoon.

When the work is piling up (contrary to what you may believe, I am an extremely busy person with a lot a lot a lot to do) the eyelids start to droop. One by one. My moustache begins to tingle and soon I am yawning at a rate of four a minute. Then even though I am mobile and upright, my short-term memory and concentration are gone. Like part of me is asleep. Have you ever experienced that thing where you call a phone number and then forget who you called?
Of course you haven’t. Because you actually sleep on nights.

I have been sleeping relatively better for the past month or so. A combination of various approaches: Valium, piriton and chamomile tea. But you’re right. I need to stop abusing drugs. I need to develop a natural circadian rhythm.

So I am going to try, starting today, to sleep naturally. And if sleep doesn’t come, I stay awake all night. If the 3:00pm stupor strikes, I will take a powernap or chew coffee or get fired. Wish me luck. I’ll tell you how it goes.

Advertisements

25 Comments

  1. How can you be wakeful after “Including the thing you are going to suggest “??? How is this possible?

    And no, I had no idea there is something called whatever that starts with ‘C’.

  2. iwaya, I just gave you this one. I waited for you to comment so that I could do the same.

    I also have trouble sleeping but I figured watching TV in bed puts me to sleep.

  3. Baz, I understand the seriousness fizzing beneath this very, very jocular skin.
    The reason people get hooked on these pills (Eminem as a recent example, Elvis Presley as a … no, that one is too American) is because they decide they are going to start sleeping without pills, and they realise that this is the hard way forward, so they reach for the valium.
    Valium is a sedative. It is addictive even when you don;t use it to get sleep. Cease and desist. Of course shit ain’t that easy, and you may already be in too deep. I’m hoping that, if you are, you can get out with relative ease.

    I had sleeping problems, sometime. The medicine is easy, because the cause of this is that you are thinking hard. Philosophising and theorising in bed. Bed is not for philosophy. It is for sex, and maybe some sleep every once in a while. 🙂
    Write your thoughts down, break them down, on paper, and toss the pencil and paper, and I swear you will sleep. Try that, then the valium.

    Or start having some sex, for Christ’s sake!

    If this sounds like a concerned warning, it is because you read it right.

  4. go to bed @the same time every night and get up at the same time every morning. your body will give up &obey. in about two weeks.

    p.s-that wont necessarily stop u from shutting down at 3pm, but atleast it wont be because you didn’t get any shut eye.

  5. Just get in bed and think of a fantasy, somewhere you are king with the most beautiful queen or your a football player the world worships, or your a star in whatever your fantasy is. It will work, thats what my doc told me and am sleeping like a baby.
    and pliz get laid.

  6. Man, good luck with that…since u tried the thing I was about to suggest and it failed….I’ma have to go with the Valium-piriton combination. Throw in a bit of Maxaquine, Oral Re-hydration Solution and Vicks Kingo. Or u need to move a grade higher with the ARV’s u’re taking.

    You’re welcome. Glad u appreciate.

  7. 27. Kissyfur and Aye, I already told you. It relaxes me but it doesn’t make me sleep.

    I didn’t use anything last night, and I slept quite fitfully. I suspect that that is why I was in such a ranty mood at dying-communist. Usually I am more polite, right, Comrade?

    Right now I am half asleep. I am going for coffee.

    I will try that forcing a schedule, Scotchie. Wish me luck.
    If it doesn’t work, I will surrender and go for Cheri’s cocktail.

    Ivan, ur in ur internets, surfin 4 kittehs?

    Phantom, maybe you have something there. I should stop listening to Common and The Roots at night. Switch to Cassandra Wilson, Norah Jones and Whitney, eh?

  8. At least you slept, even if fitfully. This is up from ‘I can’t sleep’, no? Me, I have no advice – I suspect I could sleep standing up if I wanted.

  9. Okay, now I gotta ask……

    Minty, how are u? Bionic? BUMP? Adam? Work? Tummy? Esperanza? Ma? Pa? Ma’s?

    Everything. Phewww!!!

    Wat’s up? Did u quit blogger? Sitole ki..

    In show……if u’re present, raise up your right hand and say “Present!”.

  10. From one insomniac to another – good luck.

    Nothing has worked for me and Aye, getting laid doesn’t do it. Sex is a disinhibitor and the chance that you will suffer nightmares from bad sex is just not worth it. Too many bad experiences …

    Keep me tabbed if anything works for you.

  11. Baz, u know what this means, right? You’re on your way to greatness. What’s Holmes without his Cocaine, House, without his Vicodin?

    Heroism 101
    All great anti-heroes have that one awesomely edgy habit, frowned upon by all – most anyway.

    Now, how to put Insomnia to good use… hmmm?

  12. Yeah Minty. Whattabout!

    Tumwijuke, there is such a thing as bad sex? I wouldn’t know about that… 😉

    dante, wwhere can I score some of this vicodin of which you speak? Pssst! Are you dealing?

  13. yes. b earnest on it. every night before u creep in your bed. u must have taken a good long cold shower. and the bedsheets must be clean. those pills (don’t even know if they are pills or some liquid) are not good u, baz. new vision needs u. but uganda needs u more. every man/woman has a right 2 a good night’s sleep. take my advice.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s