Uganda two, Nigeria one. Wharrever.

Like every other male member of the original hip hop generation, I played football every day of my childhood. It was staple behaviour until I broke my voice and stopped wearing shorts. After that event things like enlightenment, sophistication, discernment and taste began to arrive and interest in lower culture diminshed. When I returned to the subject years later I found, to my mild surprise, that I just didn’t get it any more.

Really. Soccer. What about.

It was necessary to give you this background because I want you to view this next statement in context. It may be just me, but…

…I don’t think a penalty is a real goal.

Okay, the accountants assure me that it will make a valid contribution to the score, but what kind of victory is that? The only goal that involved skill, employed mastery of the game, utilised agility and dexterity was made by the losers? The other two were concession gifts?

I don’t get it.

The city spent the weekend in the grip of a nearly-narcotic frenzy over this football match against the Super Eagles of Nigeria. Yellow fabric in the forms of shirts, flags and doo-rags fluttered in all the wind from Masaka to Namboole. The stadium, which had just recovered from the bashing it received during the Hinn extravaganza, was beleaguered again.

Patriotism seemed unanimous— no one had any questions, not even the obvious one:

Nigeria vs Uganda…

This is Nigeria…

Genevive Nnaji, Nollywood Star

This is Uganda…

This is Uganda

I might have to think about this…

Meanwhile, Ugandan blogging got the Tumusiime Treatment ™ this Sunday. You see?



  1. that wasnt fair baz..not fair..atleast u cud have put straka’s pic or something, matey!!!or even Nampijja..weee..kiboko is around the corner..HARAKA!!

  2. Me, I last understood soccer when I still had my shorts on. Actually, my crew just outgrew me.

    Still, me no get it. And I hate the penalties. They are the gods playing, not the players.

    That chic – I guess she’s the movie chic – would be very cute, if she didn’t act them movies. They ruin it completely.

  3. I think deep inside(wherever that is) everyone knows the penalty goals are not a big deal,but it was just another excuse to party like rockstars. and Ugandan people will use whatever excuse they get. sorta the reason why they are such darlings to hang out with.
    (I have a yellow tee…oba where is it?)

  4. That Genevieve Nnaji is so plastic. But pretty. I’m just being a girl. Jealousy is me.

    About a penalty, I do not know why people celebrate them so hard yet it’s almost a foregone conclusion.

  5. She does have that accent, except she fronts when she is on tv..u shud hear her order Agege bread and Pepe soup at Oga Babatunde’s restaurant, on Lagos boulevard!

  6. I think she is a great actress! I like her. Meanwhile, I keep commenting as Peace when I want to be Mudamuli. Discovered why.

  7. First I was ecstatic about them goals, then I was like wait a minute those were penalties.
    But a better understanding friend assured me that in football; a goal is a goal even if it is as cheap as a penalty.So bravo to the Cranes, they gave me a perfect excuse to party the night away

  8. First, we was bashing the countri boyi for flaunting the blogren in the monitor. Political??? Now we shud celebrate him for birthing us into the limelite of them suckin papers. Word?

    For the rekod, he was far deeper than wat i read in the new vision this sunday. Word!

  9. @S.A.G.E, as far as i know, David Tumusiime got permission from the blogren interviewed..and man what’s with the dodgy american accent?can’t you just speak proper english or if u must speak like an american, proper American slang otherwise known as Ebonics?

  10. penalties or not. WE WON!(actually don’t like football either but common when you tell someone Uganda got two and Nigeria one who’s going to ask if they were penalties)

  11. Joshi, what do you have against Straka? We love straka.

    And yes, people, that is the divine Genny Nnaji. I don’t know about her accent, because I just watch. I don’t listen to Nollywood movies.

    S.A.G.E., if I could find the argument, I would have linked to it, but the problem with the Monitor story was weak reporting. Interviews are essential tools of journalism. Because The writer neglected to carry any out he ended up with a story that not only carried many inaccuracies but one that flat-out misrepresented the subjects of the story.
    I put it down to lack of experience on the writer’s part. I am sure he has become much better since then.

    As for the penalties, okay. You got me. They are real goals. Once again you win. By default. I guess you deserve to party, O Uganda, but you made so much noise for us in our neighbourhood that I felt nugu.

  12. Hi Baz,

    I won’t shy away from saying a few things even if I am late.
    You’ve admitted that penalties too are goals, right, very good.

    You see Baz, unless you are Brazilian, who by the way even believe in what I am going to say, this game called football is about kicking the ball past the opponent’s goal keeper.

    You don’t need to speak to accountants to ask whether what hit the net was a goal or not unless you cheered the Nigerians from your Kireka pad, which I suspect you did considering you are a bad boy with bad ideas.

    I have to admit though that if Ugandans where Brazilians, they would not have celebrated as they did. Reason: the ball wasn’t sexy. It lacked flair.

    But also, as the recent Champions League match between AC Milan and Liverpool showed, teams have to be technical. The first AC goal by poachy Inzhagi was an accident, the second better, and in the end, AC won. But the ball wasn’t sexy?Right. So whoever has questions over our sweet victory over the big- mouthed Nigerians should know that what counts is a ball behind the opponent’s net. Fullstop. If you want better than what you saw at Namboole go to Sao Paulo.

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