The 27th Comrade told us that His Excellency John Cen—I mean Yoweri Museveni (I always get the people’s champs mixed up) was on radio the other day. He called in to one of those rabble-gabble idiot-fests called bimeeza. The problem with bimeeza is that every moron with airtime is there. There is no filtering process, no bouncer at the gate to demand some sort of standard for those seeking to participate; no one saying, “Either produce evidence that your brain nuts are well-aligned and freshly oxygenated, or I shall withhold the rights of admission.”

This is exacerbated by the fact that these things are held on Saturday afternoons, when all the intelligent people in Kampala are at Rugby Club watching Redykulass or at the Vision offices preparing the weekend paper or whatever. Whereever you guys be hanging out. The thing is, they are not at bimeeza.

Consequently, the president of the nation addressed a mob largely constituted of numbnuts.

According to some reports, Sevo got his ass handed to him, but other reports, of course, tell us that he shone like Pastor Kula’s Halogen headlights and might as well have summed up his brilliant oratory with the words, “Fuck Mabira! Who’s with me? Yeah!”

Thing is, dude used to have an uncanny way with crowds. I witnessed it myself, back when I was a supporter. He would begin facing an antsy and hostile crowd and still have them eating out of his hands by the end. This guy tamed Northcoters. Tamed them!

But there are many things Sevo was that he no longer is.

Anyway, he was on Kimeeza, and he garnered mixed reviews.

Don’t you think it would be the coolest if, for his next trick, he called in to Fat Boy?

Cos Fat Boy runs radio, son!