Crane Bank Uganda: Growing to serve, my ass!

sdfasdferfect drivers, such as I recently was, do not know this, but when the law gives you a ticket, you need to pay your fine to URA, via Crane Bank Main Branch, then take the receipt to the police station to indicate that you have cleared your debt to society. At the police station you show them the receipts and then, after you say sorry and promise to never do it again, they clean your slate.
I was highly trepidations about the police station but little did I know how downside-up I had got things.
The police were quick, professional, efficient and helpful, even though I was there in my capacity as a criminal. The bank, however…
Now, I have accounts at three banks. Standard Chartered, Stanbic and Centenary Rural Development Bank, each of which has very comfortable services, which has led me to falsely believe that all banks treat you well, smile, and generally behave the way you are supposed to behave when you are taking a lot of someone’s money away from them.
But this is certainly not the case at Crane Bank.
I stood in the line with my tickets and my money to wait for my turn at the cashier. That is when one of the guards stopped me. “Sir, I notice that you have traffic tickets. You shall need to fill in a bank slip before you get to the cashier,” he said, and I am, of course paraphrasing.
“Where do I get such bank slips?”
The guard pointed me in the right direction, I found the bank slips, picked up two as I always do (in case I make a mistake on one) and returned to the queue, where I met the guard again.
“Sir, not to be nosy, but you haven’t filled in your slip.”
The first question the bank slip asked was who I was paying the money to, and the second question it asked was what this person’s account number was. Surprisingly, I had no idea what the account number of URA was. “I’ll get assistance from the cashier when I get to the counter,” I said to the askari.
He smirked patiently, since such a thing is, apparently possible, and tutted, “She’ll just send you away,” he said. “Here, let me help.”
I did not entirely believe that a cashier would really chase a customer away because he was not an expert in the account numbers of all government departments, but I gave one slip to the askari and, this is true, he filled in the form for me. Fully. Only my signature was missing.
Eventually I made it to the cashier and handed her the tickets, the filled-in bank slip and the cash.
Now, I have friends who have worked as bank cashiers, so I know that it is one very stressful job. You have to endure all manner of idiots, ingrates and impatient louts and take it all in as part of the job. I know not to take tellers and cashiers for granted. I didn’t waste her time. I handed her the things she needed, she took them and I waited for a stamped piece of paper in return, or at least for instructions on where to go next.
Instead she virtually growled that I should stand aside.
“Oh. I’ve got a bitchy one,” I thought, and was justified in thinking so, because from the tone of her voice, she was certainly insulting me in her mind as well.
I stood aside.
Several minutes of just standing there watching her pound wads of money around and shuffle bits of paper up and down, I did what anyone would do. I am not a Crane Bank Cashier, so I cannot just stand around in the lobby doing nothing all day. I walked back to the counter.
I could have said, “What the fuck, are you going to deal with my papers, or not? I don’t have all millennium. What the fuck?”
But I believe in courtesy and civility, that is how I handle myself. So, instead, I said, “Excuse me, you asked me to stand aside and wait several minutes ago, but you haven’t called me to get my receipts. Is something wrong with the documents I gave you?”
She replied in the tone and with the look you would more likely find accompany a witch’s curse the single word: “No.”
I returned to the empty spot of floor I had been warming for the past ten or so minutes now fully aware of the sort of person I was dealing with. No, you don’t argue with people like that. Let me explain.
1. A URA bankslip needs to be filled in. There are two people at the counter. One has training and experience in URA bankslips, and the other does not. How do you get the slip filled in?
a) The person who knows how they should be filled in should send the ignorant person away.
b) The person who knows how they should be filled in should guide the ignorant person
This cashier was not intellectually equipped to answer that question correctly, so I classify her as being of below adequate intelligence. There is nothing to be gained from engaging dumb people in debate.
After another ten minutes, it was beginning to look like I would have to accost this dreadful woman again. I had steeled my nerves and began to step up when another askari stopped me. “Ssebo, is there a problem you need assistance with? I notice you are not in the queue.”
I explained that I had just paid my traffic tickets and the cashier had told me to wait here in purgatory for, apparently, ever.
The askari then pointed across the lobby. “If you have paid, you should be on the other side of the room to wait for your receipt there, sir.”
And surely enough, after I walked just a few steps toward the counter he pointed at, there was a man, holding my receipt asking where Bazanye was.
I could see cashier failing another logic quzzle:
2. A URA fine has been paid, and the receipt requires collection. Do you
a. let the payee just stand in the middle of the bank for several minutes
b. Tell the payee where to get his receipt?
I have no way to understand why she didn’t just tell me instead of making me stand there like that. Did I look like an ex-boyfriend she hated? Was she just a very thick person who just could not figure out how to point at a counter? Was she a Sunday Vision reader who recognized me and didn’t like something I wrote?
Either way, it’s a very very sad commentary on you as a person and as a professional and it says even worse things about the bank you work for if the jobs of the cashiers are being done by the askaris. Your job might suck, but if you suck at it, you suck too.
Crane bank advertises heavily on radio, and there are billboards with Gaetano grinning all over the city. Their slogan is “Growing to serve and serving to grow.”
My ass.

Perfect drivers, such as I recently was, do not know this, but when the law gives you a ticket, you need to pay your fine to URA, via Crane Bank Main Branch, then take the receipt to the police station to indicate that you have cleared your debt to society. At the police station you show them the receipts and then, after you say sorry and promise to never do it again, they clean your slate.

I was highly trepidations about the police station but little did I know how downside-up I had got things.

The police were quick, professional, efficient and helpful, even though I was there in my capacity as a criminal. The bank, however…

Now, I have accounts at three banks. Standard Chartered, Stanbic and Centenary Rural Development Bank, each of which has very comfortable services, which has led me to falsely believe that all banks treat you well, smile, and generally behave the way you are supposed to behave when you are taking a lot of someone’s money away from them.

But this is certainly not the case at Crane Bank.

I stood in the line with my tickets and my money to wait for my turn at the cashier. That is when one of the guards stopped me. “Sir, I notice that you have traffic tickets. You shall need to fill in a bank slip before you get to the cashier,” he said, and I am, of course paraphrasing.

“Where do I get such bank slips?”

The guard pointed me in the right direction, I found the bank slips, picked up two as I always do (in case I make a mistake on one) and returned to the queue, where I met the guard again.

“Sir, not to be nosy, but you haven’t filled in your slip.”

The first question the bank slip asked was who I was paying the money to, and the second question it asked was what this person’s account number was. Surprisingly, I had no idea what the account number of URA was. “I’ll get assistance from the cashier when I get to the counter,” I said to the askari.

He smirked patiently, since such a thing is, apparently possible, and tutted, “She’ll just send you away,” he said. “Here, let me help.”

I did not entirely believe that a cashier would really chase a customer away because he was not an expert in the account numbers of all government departments, but I gave one slip to the askari and, this is true, he filled in the form for me. Fully. Only my signature was missing.

Eventually I made it to the cashier and handed her the tickets, the filled-in bank slip and the cash.

Now, I have friends who have worked as bank cashiers, so I know that it is one very stressful job. You have to endure all manner of idiots, ingrates and impatient louts and take it all in as part of the job. I know not to take tellers and cashiers for granted. I didn’t waste her time. I handed her the things she needed, she took them and I waited for a stamped piece of paper in return, or at least for instructions on where to go next.

Instead she virtually growled that I should stand aside.

“Oh. I’ve got a bitchy one,” I thought, and was justified in thinking so, because from the tone of her voice, she was certainly insulting me in her mind as well.

I stood aside.

Several minutes of just standing there watching her pound wads of money around and shuffle bits of paper up and down, I did what anyone would do. I am not a Crane Bank Cashier, so I cannot just stand around in the lobby doing nothing all day. I walked back to the counter.

I could have said, “What the fuck, are you going to deal with my papers, or not? I don’t have all millennium. What the fuck?”

But I believe in courtesy and civility, that is how I handle myself. So, instead, I said, “Excuse me, you asked me to stand aside and wait several minutes ago, but you haven’t called me to get my receipts. Is something wrong with the documents I gave you?”

She replied in the tone and with the look you would more likely find accompany a witch’s curse the single word: “No.”

I returned to the empty spot of floor I had been warming for the past ten or so minutes now fully aware of the sort of person I was dealing with. No, you don’t argue with people like that. Let me explain.

1. A URA bankslip needs to be filled in. There are two people at the counter. One has training and experience in URA bankslips, and the other does not. How do you get the slip filled in?

a) The person who knows how they should be filled in should send the ignorant person away.

b) The person who knows how they should be filled in should guide the ignorant person

This cashier was not intellectually equipped to answer that question correctly, so I classify her as being of below adequate intelligence. There is nothing to be gained from engaging dumb people in debate.

After another ten minutes, it was beginning to look like I would have to accost this dreadful woman again. I had steeled my nerves and began to step up when another askari stopped me. “Ssebo, is there a problem you need assistance with? I notice you are not in the queue.”

I explained that I had just paid my traffic tickets and the cashier had told me to wait here in purgatory for, apparently, ever.

The askari then pointed across the lobby. “If you have paid, you should be on the other side of the room to wait for your receipt there, sir.”

And surely enough, after I walked just a few steps toward the counter he pointed at, there was a man, holding my receipt asking where Bazanye was.

I could see cashier failing another logic quzzle:

2. A URA fine has been paid, and the receipt requires collection. Do you

a. let the payee just stand in the middle of the bank for several minutes

b. Tell the payee where to get his receipt?

I have no way to understand why she didn’t just tell me instead of making me stand there like that. Did I look like an ex-boyfriend she hated? Was she just a very thick person who just could not figure out how to point at a counter? Was she a Sunday Vision reader who recognized me and didn’t like something I wrote?

Either way, it’s a very very sad commentary on you as a person and as a professional and it says even worse things about the bank you work for if the jobs of the cashiers are being done by the askaris. Your job might suck, but if you suck at it, you suck too.

Crane bank advertises heavily on radio, and there are billboards with Gaetano grinning all over the city. Their slogan is “Growing to serve and serving to grow.”

My ass.

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54 thoughts on “Crane Bank Uganda: Growing to serve, my ass!

  1. Baz, maybe it was you…Ive NEVER had bad service like that…and yes, i have a crane account so i have stepped inside a crane bank before. and before you suggest it; YES, i have accounts in other banks as well so i DO have services to compare against…which brings me back to my original point:
    maybe it was you.

  2. Sorry bambi. Other than the customer service, consider yourself lucky-20 minutes? Over at Diamond Trust Bank, they tell you to wait (at least they tell you) an hour.

  3. It cannot have been you. I went to freaking Stanbic bank, international something something at Crested Towers to get a draft. The lady smiled at me at quarter to one and told me to fill in the form which i had done, thinking it would make it faster. She smiled again and told me she would be back after lunch!
    I waited till half past two. This is a true story. All the other smiley women apparently did not handle drafts! I strolled around crested towers, ate lunch at 7,000( it’s free at work) that was the cheapest and the smiley idiot was still not back. She was so unapologetic! When i asked if thats how long the lunch break was, she smiled again! You can’t even yell at a smiley idiot!

  4. i always seem to eat my words on this thing…so maybe its a general thing. at least that should make you feel at least a little bit better. evryones experienced it. Now i’m starting to think that I’M the special one…

  5. Have you guys experienced the services offered by Barclays?(IPS) Always having systems failures,a long line, no one explaining to you whats going on…

    always the askari’s, the ones coming to our rescure..giving the customer care..

    Have banks outsourced their customer care departments to the security companies??

  6. Stanbic is no better. A teller once told me I would have to apply for an atm before he could let me withdraw at the counter! Huh?! Only the branch manager’s intervention saved my broke ass.

  7. There is an entire lack of customer care in this country. Its like the service industry are doing the rest of us a favour. I do not even want to begin to talk about my woes in Barclays Bank Garden City Prestige. You would think because its prestige the care there would be excellent. But guess what, they lose your money and then say its your fault and unless you talk to the Manager, nothing can be sorted out. Even the askaries there don’t help …

  8. I say this as a customer in Crane Bank, by the way which isn’t of my choosing, but under duress of my boss…Crane Bank is a shitty scam in Customer Service. As for Barclays i told them to close the bleeting account coz the service was too moronic…Standard Chartered is the only one I can stand!

  9. Maybe u guys should all consider banking with DFCU Bank…seriously, all these basket banjks are just full of jokers. DFCU on the other and, kwenze and kwegula on customers they treat u like royalty (and charge u very little for it) but still they won’t treat u like trash.

    Baz, I thought I’d signed u onto DFCU? Was I not doing good sales then?

    This kalango was brought to u by DFCU Bank… Business with Pleasure.

  10. Bank of Africa Ntinda branch rocks!
    They don’t ask me for ID, because they make a point of nurturing a relationship with their clients (me). I’m forever resisting the urge to take the whole lot down the road to Josie’s for a thank you pint. Just this morning I was given free advice on market food prices!

  11. @Baz I once went to open an account in Crane Bank, had to wait as the Customer Stress Consultant lugambated with a friend who had absolutely no banking issues. I tried to cut into their lugambo, she told me to wait!!! Am still waiting.
    Thumbs up for StanChart and DFCU. All the other banks need divine intervention. Stand Bank (Stanbic) is messed.
    @Normzo Barclays system always down… Maybe they donot have a system!

  12. Dear Sir,

    We have seen article posted by you about quality of service offered by Crane Bank. In this regard we would like to meet you in person. Please convey us conveient time and date when you would be able to meet us. customercare@cranebanklimited.com

    Haneefa M.M
    Customer Care Officer

  13. Aya Baz, what if they go Mafia on you, lock you up, break your fingers, pluck out your teeth with pliers, take out one eye! Alalala, i fear for you ranting about people and then they find you out!

    Serves them right though, i also closed my account with Crane Bank ages ago, those customer care people just sit there in their bu blue dresses and try their best to ignore you and make you feel like they are doing you a favour even glancing at you. If you do meet lady boss of Crane Bank customer care, please tell her that as well.

  14. hey baz we need to know what happened after your discusions with the boss because i was thinking of opening an account with crane bank but when i read all this i am scared of getting the same problems you have faced.

    but anyway thanks foe nailing them might be we might get better service with time

  15. hey baz we need to know what happened after your discusions with the boss because i was thinking of opening an account with crane bank but when i read all this i am scared of getting the same problems you have faced.

    but anyway thanks for nailing them, may be we might get better service with time

  16. i want to close a/c no.0141061043800 & i want refund my money because i left iganga. please send how to opt formalties. at present ,i am working in india

  17. To the best of my knowledge and ever since I opened an account with Centenary Rural Development Bank way back when I was still a student, they have never failed. Unless at times when the ATM says ‘sorry we can not offer cash withdrawal due to insufficient funds!’ . That is the only time when I am locked up in stress. Otherwise, give them a try!!!!!!!

  18. Crane bank customercare still sucks, they have not even the commonest curtosy. Its a shame i still bank there but dnt know how long cos every1 i know has left.

  19. Sudir is Thief, he started as Bar Attendent in his carrer and stolen money from Stan Chart and the case is still going on in the court of Uganda between Redfox Vs StanChart. He’s a thief, don’t bank in Bank. It will be stolen and he’s close M7 that’s why he’s accumulating huge properties in Uganda. He’s dacoity. He slaps his employees & never pays salary and paye to URA.

  20. we need to understand how did Sudhir Grows his companies, we can write bibigropahy. First he gives u loan and solves your problem and he has ppl like moses, bongo are his brutal team to threaten u, that how he has taken over the property of Rose bud, Sanyu FM, most of the properities in Kamplaa. He’s not a hard waroker. He’s bastard and mother fucker too.

    U can verify with his secretary Tina Julie.

  21. our belowed md mr. Kalan, he’s mastermind of the crane bank collapase, he stole $20k in shumuk forex and he was jobless, he joined as Clerk, because of his articulate (in the wrong way) he becom today MD, he has no formal education. How the BOU allows him to continue as MD. He did lot of atrociities to amny peo[le, definitely he will get punished by GOD!. Ask his car UDM 777? where it’s? Let him tell the answer. Bastard, Uganda does not belong to Sudhir. He himself a beggar and his own community never respects him.

  22. Rajesh knows everything of Sudhir, how he master minded the wrong TT transfer from SCB to Redfox for $500,000/- it went to Sudhir personal a/c and he started the bank. The case is still going on between Redfox bureau & SCB. Bipin knows very well. Once sudhir dies, that’s end of the Crane Bank. Dear Ugandans, don’t deposit
    any money in crane bank.

  23. Rajesh knows everything of Sudhir, how he master minded the wrong TT transfer from SCB to Redfox for $500,000/- it went to Sudhir personal a/c and he started the bank. The case is still going on between Redfox bureau & SCB. Bipin knows very well. Once sudhir dies, that’s end of the Crane Bank. Dear Ugandans, don’t deposit
    any money in crane bank.

  24. Sudhir shd promote impartiality in CBL u see, all branches are managed by indians! The poor ugandan cashiers in the bank earn less than $150!. Where are educated ugandans? This is Uganda not India, so priority should be given to the jobless Ugandans because this nation belongs to them.

  25. We, ex-crane bank employees (Indians) can discuss stage by stage about the style of functioning of crane bank particularly its MD and DMD and treatment meted out to Indians who are almost like slaves. To start with, it is not called Crane Bank Ltd., whereas it is literally called Crane Shop U Ltd., and it is just one man show. We from different places have decided to spread about Crane Bank and creating awareness so that Indians will not come in future on the base itself instead coming there and after humiliation returning back to India. We will be in the forum giving some comments henceforth. That is all now.

  26. Fantastic goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff prior to and you are just too excellent. I actually like what you have received here, really like what you’re saying and the way in which wherein you are saying it. You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it wise. I cant wait to read far more from you. This is really a great website.

  27. We only hear adverse /personal grudges for Crane Bank and its management . I have also worked with Crane Bank. They pay salaries in time. It is a strict bank, which does not allow employees to become lazy, not to take care of customers, or allow too much delegation to one person. One wrong /mistake in customer service does not make you Bad or discarded for all times. Every body makes mistake.

    Crane takes care of its customers and its staff very well ,allowing little scope to cheaters whether be its staff or customers and hence in some quarters is not popular . Mr AR Kalan mistake, is a basically a good person but being in MD’s position may have become very strict and thus caused some difficulties to people, who are egoistic, or are lazy or who do not want to work. They say if you are a saint then you have no business being in commercial business . People work only due to fear or greed and it is deployed very well in Crane bank. Some time an innocent guy may suffer due to strictness , as he may be shy or not courageous to defend himself /present his case . Crane Bank has provided world class services to Uganda and has grown . During my survey with the customers during my tenure — I had found that those customers were very proud of dealing with Crane , but those customers who did not want to pay the charges or money taken and whose cheques bounced , they were critical of Crane due to obvious reasons .

  28. Guys I am an indian and have got an offer letter from crane bank for the post of branch manager.Pls let me know whther its a trap?The things which i have heard is
    they do noy pay salary at time
    they treat u as slaves.
    they may terminate u anytime without prioir notice and
    they do not pay the salary mentioned in the offer letter.
    Please guide.
    Whether i shud go ahead for job in crane bank.

  29. Dear Indian Applicant
    It is good that you are checking status and position of some company, but this is a platform where customer , or few got disturb and mention there views, you can speak to some staff of crane Bank. you are thinking of taking decision by giving negative remark of company this way. ? no company would like to appoint staff who ask question or get doubt solve like this.

  30. IT IS HIGH TIME THAT ERNAST REMOVED THE COMMENT BECAUSE AT CRANE THE SITUATION IS THE OPOSITE OF WHAT ERNEST TRIED TO POTRAY……..CUSTOMER IS A KING AND EVERY STAFF IS MADE TO UNDER STAND THAT HE GETS PAID BECAUSE OF A CUSTOMER…..INDEED THAT IS WHY CRANE BANK HAS WON THE PRESTIIOUS ACCOLADE BY BOU FOR OVER SEVEN TIMES….

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