Another Guest Post from Outside Countries to your doorstep

Kyaliwajjala is IN the HOUSE!! Yo Miss Cheri aka Sherry Darling, aka Queen of Blogistan aka Tallest Chick who can KickShort Man dem Pon de Balls, One Time! Two Time! Tree Time rundown di track. Faya!

DRAMA.COM

My colleague, Celia, says many outrageous things and always has a witty answer to every question. Trick or not. However, right now, she can’t explain this little situation.

She has been going out with this dude for about 6 months now and she says it’s the happiest she has been in decades. See, Celia is a divorced mother of 4. She is almost 50 and had lived more than 10 years without a partner when along came Mr Mysterious (a nickname we gave him at work because he always seemed to have some mystery about him.)

In her words, Mr Mysterious awoke some feelings she never ever thought she’d ever have.

He took well to her children especially the younger ones who still live with her and they got on well with his children who were about the same age.

Quick fact.

Mr Mysterious is 12 years younger than Celia.

Another quick fact

She has never dated a man older or same age as her. Coincidentally (according to her) they are all always younger than she is.

Celia proves the point that age is nothing but a number. She lives her life in the fast lane and seems, looks and behaves likes she’s about 15 years younger than she is.

In the beginning she didn’t really think he’d be very serious with her. To her, it was another whirlwind romance that was going to follow the route all the others had taken. But this one seemed to stand the test of time. And her test of time was usually 4 weeks. We were impressed. I’ve known her long enough (since last July) to witness this countless times.

However, last week, I was in for a big shock. Celia called me on the weekend to tell me she had big news for me and that I had to wait till I got to office to hear it. Obviously, I thought it was some juicy office gossip. I couldn’t wait to hear it. I even got to office about 30 minutes early so we’d have enough time to gossip before the other began to roll in. U know how I be.

I was too early. She showed up on time. With the others. But trust us to yap regardless.

She dropped the bomb!!!!

Mr Mysterious had popped the big question and asked her and her youngest children to move in with him and his children. Whoa. Big deal! I couldn’t believe. She seemed happy yet a bit held back this time.

Cheri: Can I see the ring?

Celia: I didn’t take it!

Cheri: Why?

Celia: I turned him down. I couldn’t. And he was on his knee and shit. With a bouquet of roses marked, “For my fiancée”. It hurt like hell but I just couldn’t Chantal.

Cheri: *Jaw still on the floor* What? Why, Celia?

Celia: I’m not sure of this fella Chantal. I’ve only known him 5 months. He’s much younger than I am. He’s too fit for me. He’s Jamaican. I’m just settling into the whole thing and now he’s thrown me off with all this. Honestly, I’m not at the level yet. I can’t even fart or belch loud in his presence. I have to run off to the loo. U know, I need to get used to him to be able to do these things in his presence, THEN I’ll know I’m ready to settle in with him. For all I know he could want to marry me to use me to get a British Passport. I’m not even sure of his status in the country.

This made me laugh so hard even though she was in a serious predicament! The FART or BELCH point killed me.

I didn’t even have a valid piece of advice to give her.

So it begs the question;

When is it right/okay/appropriate to FART or BELCH in the presence of your partner and not feel embarrassed or feel the need to run and do it in the bathroom?

_FartPropellant

30 thoughts on “Another Guest Post from Outside Countries to your doorstep

  1. You sure know how to take the winding long way round to posing questions.
    dunno, I suppose it’s okay just about the time you’re able to dance naked in the rain together.

  2. You do it the old chief kakande way. Meet on Monday, Go to her place on Tuesday, Fart on Wednesday, Propose on Thursday, get turned down on friday, commit suicide on saturday, and get buried on sunday

  3. that’s one crazy week aunty pope…if she’s lingering around the next morning then its fine to fart. i’ll always wonder where these pics are gotten…me i think its never ok, unless as an exit strategy

  4. At 50 she does not need a fit 38 year old husband to give her stress. She should settle down with a 55 yr old pot bellied fart.

    When is it OK to fart? Pretend you are asleep and let loose. Observe his reaction

  5. But the bigger question should be when is it appropriate for him to fart in her presence? isn’t guys’ wind so much uhmmm… fouler?

  6. Strange analogy. Why would fart and belch be an issue? Does that mean she lets out fart infront of her friends and kids because she is comfortable with them? Gross.
    A friend of mine was hesitant to move in with a guy because she wasn’t comfortable enough to do a number two at his house . She was too afraid the toilet flush would fail or the stink too strong. She concluded it was because she didn’t like him enough.

  7. I mean it when i say that my mom did fart a lot in my presence…but guess what she would say right after…DID YOU HEAR THAT? NO YOU DIDN’T!

  8. Kaza is right. Are you comfortable farting in front of your long time friends? Or even your mother? Or your children? Why should you be comfortable farting in front of your lover? That’s not something anyone should do in public.

  9. ok no offense but i love the idea of farting and looking at your lover suspiciously… with a sly look and accusing them as the room begins to stink it up…. and everyone bursts out into laughter coz its just too funny yo!

  10. In the event that you missed etiquette class you’re pardoned to fart and belch all you want without a care in the world.

  11. Chic was right -Farting is like the marriage test. If you still can’t fart comfy then they are not the one.
    It’s better to do these things quickly and move on so the 1st date should be appropriate

  12. ka Queen of Blogistan aka Tallest Chick who can KickShort Man dem Pon de Balls, One Time! Two Time! Tree Time rundown di track. Faya!…..WICKED!

  13. me i say fart whenever you feel like just make sure its a silent burner. shall you stomach problems cause you are ever holding it. and what if you want to fart more than once in like 5 mins…. will you keep running to the toilet? because then he will think you have dios!

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