Welcome to the only blog in Uganda with its own intern.
That’s Robin Thicke. He’s my intern. Go get my coffee, Thicke. Be fast.
Now, to business. I am concerned about you all and the social enhancement of your lives in general, so, to make life better, I have compiled a brief list of Things To Do In Nandos.
(Thank you, Thicke. Now go and sit in the corner and be quiet.)
- Order a cheeseburger in a fake accent. No, not like Lady Bizzle, I mean a fake French accent. Make sure you luxuriate enthusiastically over the syllables like, “Sheeeeese buggerr” because that is how French people talk. I have heard them do it and can confirm this.
They also end every sentence with a question mark, like the Irish. They say, “You ‘ave sheeese bugger? Yes? I ‘ave wiz ze frahs? And also ze coke? Mebbe you do not mek it so slowlee, you make it quicklee?”
( Oh, it has to be a fake French accent. If you have a real French accent, try ordering with a Spanish one.)
2. Get your cellphone out and order your pizza delivered to your table. That would so totally rule.
3. People don’t give waitresses the respect they deserve. You could give them even less. Patronise them to the point that you actually explain the order to them as if they just landed from Bukomansimbi. “I’ll have the chee.. (look at the waitress and do your eyes as if you have just realised that she probably will not be able to handle such an exotic word) Take a lightly toasted bun, a slab of cheese, and a beef patty… are you getting this? You’re not writing—with onions and tomatoes.…”
Thicke, did I stutter when I said coffee? What is this crap? Go and bring coffee! Before I count to five I want to see coffee here. What about…
Update: If you noticed, perhaps, that the header image has changed, and are wondering why, it is in honour of the greatest human man alive, Detective Lieutenant John MacClaine. He just kicks all ass in the universe and I would like to commemorate that on this blog tonight. Thank you.
12 responses so far ↓
magintu // July 10, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Me likey. Can Robin bring me coffee too?
Iwaya // July 10, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Loco! He has gone Loco!
aegeus // July 10, 2007 at 3:33 pm
**whisper** i have done number 3. And also paid and told them to deliver to an address which happens to be mine a variation of number 2…heheheheh!! Over the phone you order with a brit accent then when dude delivers check the look on their face as they crane their neck to look for the fellow who ordered. Hehheeh Evil…pure evil!!
The 27th Comrade // July 10, 2007 at 6:27 pm
Hehehehe.
=))
timothy // July 11, 2007 at 3:19 pm
I hate it when interns bring crappy coffee! Sometimes they are more trouble than they are worth.
ish // July 11, 2007 at 4:26 pm
this is me hitting on your intern;
he does whatever you tell him to? as in anything??
duksey // July 12, 2007 at 10:07 am
Are there more where that one came from.I could do with one to massage ma toes when these heels are killing me.
Zak // July 12, 2007 at 10:14 am
“bukomasimbi”, how did that place derive its name, do you know Baz? ’s it really as is the meaning of its name? Interesting there, init?
Elle B // July 12, 2007 at 12:17 pm
u are loco. very. But you have perfected the art so it’s all good. Oh, and I command you to release Robin at once. When he divorces, him and I are gon’ get married, I don’t want him engaging in servitude so soon.
The Phantom // July 12, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Slave driver!
darlkom // July 12, 2007 at 5:40 pm
One word: Hilarious
Dennis Matanda // July 16, 2007 at 5:06 pm
I cannot believe you people. Did you not see the comments on Die Hard 4.0? Did no one like this movie? I was in so much pain when I missed the first 5 minutes on account of a slow ticketing process – and ERNEST mentions it and no one comments?